Dovina
replying on A Thing I Must Do by Dovina
2 Feb 2005, 3:03 PM
If I say you are full of canal water, you will no doubt point to a study where men and women were asked certain defining questions. If an answer does not fit within the outlined limits of the study, the questionee must be asked again and told to slightly change his or her answer so that it fits the acceptable limits of our previously specified answer categories. If he or she does not change the answer, we must as good citizens of the world be tolerant, and kindly excuse him or her from our study. This is properly called the scientific method and gives rise to conclusions like men are more spatially aware.
Crakyamuni
replying on Save our Self(revised to be a trek into the vent tent) by Crakyamuni
2 Feb 2005, 3:03 PM
Also, where did you find that high horse? It seems you can only spit worthless slander. You haven't posted up, but you still whip out the old drowsy one liners.
Make something. Then come back with malice.
One of your best in a while.
Yawn....you really are unoriginal aren't you!
Crakyamuni
replying on Save our Self(revised to be a trek into the vent tent) by Crakyamuni
2 Feb 2005, 2:54 PM
This is good. Honesty,good.
Just because a line is similar to that poem does not mean I have to change it. The meaning is different, and besides many poems may have similar lines its when the whole poem is similar where I would start to question the writer. For Example...
San Francisco Blues 'by Jack Kerouac' one of the lines reads like this... "In the calm & peaceful
Night-"
In this poem 'by Kit McCallum' the line reads like this..."The peaceful calm of night."
So you're telling me one of these people has to change their poem because it is very similar to other persons poem?
Don't we all.
Have you ever seen that movie about the red balloon I don't remember what it's called but it almost makes ya want to cry at parts?
hey sliver
Bluemonkey
on Save our Self(revised to be a trek into the vent tent) by Crakyamuni
2 Feb 2005, 1:08 PM
Ok, how's this: It makes sense, it just sucks. :0)
Tottaly without trying to be mean, this is not the place to find helpful criticism. You may get a little from a few users, but mostly you will find crass, bitter poet who will berate you until the end of time.
I was definitely not expecting that at the end, but the poem is great. It left me wishing there was more to it.
I wrote this poem when I was 15, I submitted it hoping that I would recieve helpful criticism. The spelling errors are due to my putting the poem in while at work, therefore on a time restriction. Any comments that will actually help would be appreciated. Otherwise, thanks for nothing.
fevriere
replying on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere
2 Feb 2005, 10:12 AM
Thanks!
fevriere
replying on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere
2 Feb 2005, 10:11 AM
Ah, potatoes! There's a thought. Not sure what's going on with "make love(,) flower".
Comma after love in fourth verse I presume. Love's only potatoes made me giggle. Personally I would have put it at the start, dare the narrator to explain herself on the whole love spud thing.
Crakyamuni
replying on Save our Self(revised to be a trek into the vent tent) by Crakyamuni
2 Feb 2005, 9:55 AM
Chewbacca? I,m not nearly as poignant in my defensive tactics. I'd like to think John Cage, or Da Vinci.
Yo. I'm a skeptic.
Makes tons of sense that you never made it past base 2 with the dude in the bleachers, perhaps you need a good shave?, or a night light to guide your non spatially aware ass.
richa
replying on Save our Self(revised to be a trek into the vent tent) by Crakyamuni
2 Feb 2005, 9:44 AM
excellent deployment of the chewbacca defense.