You delivered. So shall I.

I think a lot of people are feeling this way. Good.

nice one

This is either cutting-edge or pointless. undecided. The format reminds me of javascript.

It might be further generlised by forgoeing the naming of countries...

bittersweet; the language is simple but warming

The nonaplphabetical characters do nothing for me. If the goal was bewilderment: consider a mission acomplished. If your goal was to portray some juxtoposition of natural characters, I need more; it just feels awkward. Apathy. But then what? There is something missing that I cannot, as a reader, put between the brackets. Perhaps help me frame by using more descriptive verbs.

Line 2 stanza 2, at dawn, fix it and I will give my 10 and my comment.

Great. I think I hear Billy Joel singing this one...or a sober Jimmy Buffett...

I think I can feel where you're coming from here..but I'm not going to say in case I'm wrong. I'd hate to look like an arse.

Ask NoSage he might give you one.

A bit bumpy. Just read it aloud to yourself over and over and rewrite it to iron it out. 2 poems ago took me 5 rewrites just to get it to this point and I'm still finding nits. time. patience. work. that is all.

Would you please answer this as honestly as possible; I know you'll be tempted to lie, but remember the LORD is watching: Do you know one soldier in Iraq?

I don't like the bacon. Try something else. And I think you could lose the third line of the first stanza and not be worse off. Great imagery.

Lose the -little fuckers. and the parentheses marks. I like it.

I like the beginning, but I think I'll hold off voting until you get it finished. Good job so far, though.

it's good but this part is weak "So, we could remember what it means To be the “good guys” and then I could be proud of my country once again." the moe stuff is awesome.

yehar i like it there boy!

abraham lincoln with a curling iron in his pants.

wha???