Re: you've returned i'm glad by richa	Dan garcia-Black 67.150.175.47	21-Aug-07/11:58 AM
I can see this poem is not about the return of your mind.
Re: Alfredo by Caducus	richa 85.210.180.87	21-Aug-07/3:31 PM
I agree this need more detail for the reader to make out who the characters are to eachother. I like the idea of the shadows being a heel to the ghost. The transition from shadows brought heels to heels brought soft voices is also rather elegant.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 85.210.180.87	22-Aug-07/2:27 AM
Quite like it. I'm not sure if you are imagining conversation between chairs it needs to be silent (chairs would hardly be communicating in subtle gestures). Talking in silence has become a bit of a cliche. I like the firework simile and the old soldiers bit. The disembodied sandals are a bit peculiar but the poem is supposed to be fantastical so it kind of works.
Re: Alfredo by Caducus	http://mulberryfairy 64.223.241.185	22-Aug-07/5:30 PM
Is calomine an alternate spelling of calamine, and was the vineyard actually a grove of poison ivy?
regarding some deleted poem...	http://mulberryfairy 64.223.241.185	22-Aug-07/6:02 PM
yes we do
Re: reptile by ThePariahDog	http://mulberryfairy 64.223.241.185	22-Aug-07/6:13 PM
Who gave this a zero and didn't comment? It is hard to work the word chitin into a poem! Nice mix of the literal and metaphoric: carpenter as god, carpenter ant, etc.
Re: beef flavored ramen by ThePariahDog	http://mulberryfairy 64.223.241.185	22-Aug-07/6:18 PM
mmm-mmm good
regarding some deleted poem...	http://mulberryfairy 64.223.241.185	22-Aug-07/6:27 PM
justice? in the stock market?
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	miraclemaker 72.130.249.51	23-Aug-07/1:46 AM
Please write a part three.
regarding some deleted poem...	jessicazee 70.94.0.72	23-Aug-07/2:12 AM
I had to school myself Wikipedia-style about Senryu -- "Senryū (川柳, literally 'river willow') is a Japanese form of short poetry similar to haiku in construction: three lines with 17 or fewer morae [typo in Wikipedia or omission? maybe someone can explain?] (not syllables) in total. However, senryū tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are serious. Senryū do not need to include a kigo, or season word, like haiku." Anyway, I think I can hereforth only speak and write in Senryu. My foibles have been bursting to find a proper outlet, and damn, am I sick of writing those serious, nature-based haiku. P.S. thank you
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	23-Aug-07/2:01 PM
I like this. My take is the narrator is so self-righteous he can't see the forest for the trees.
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	23-Aug-07/2:17 PM
"a devout with a minor in debauchery," an absolutely brilliant line.
Re: Sylvania Wilderness by jessicazee	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	23-Aug-07/2:21 PM
Nice write.
Re: Two More Cunts Who Are One Cunt by mr cunt	Engelbert Humpalot 85.211.242.68	23-Aug-07/5:03 PM
I have trouble with this Skilton creep. He's a mental defective mongo and a train spotter so we shouldn't be too unkind to him. On 2nd thoughts, let's laugh.
Re: Colin's thoughts by colin douglas's arse	Engelbert Humpalot 85.211.242.68	23-Aug-07/5:05 PM
I couldn't have put it better about poor Colin, even if I had written it myself.
Re: Pledge by http://mulberryfairy	abecedarian 71.231.136.220	23-Aug-07/8:38 PM
"I" absolutely adore this poem!
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	abecedarian 71.231.136.220	23-Aug-07/8:39 PM
Good to see you writing again :)
regarding some deleted poem...	alvinb 203.87.200.86	24-Aug-07/1:20 AM
waaaaaaa
Re: Sylvania Wilderness by jessicazee	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	24-Aug-07/6:35 AM
YES ! Two small nits. J-flits, and Old spice... oh wait no, well, shoot. The old spice itself is cliche but it steers me away from boyfriend/girlfriend and into father/daughter, so.... Anyway, it's ace. if you revise it any, please post. I'd like to add it to my faves.
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	24-Aug-07/6:39 AM
I second Paul S.