thisismyusername
on some deleted poem
29 Oct 2004, 3:55 PM
i so totally kno what u mean....i check for snow every single school morning....pitiful i kno
another good idea for a poem bratsy!
a stinky pile of piles
you have an ugly face
a floppy, shaven walrus clit
a dumpling, surrounded by a moat of the brownest gravy.
Great images. Good conclusion. The last stanza breaks up a little but the last 3 lines redeem it. 9
Like this?
call upon the wrath of god
for the sword he yields is truth
and through his word procure
A spot of holy ground
and the seed you sow may grow and bloom
into something that is pure
This defies standard suicidal parameters. Particularly the -many footpritnts. I think I've heard skin of water somewhere. Um, Blend the first stanza, 'liminate
the -but-. I honestly don't know the first thing about using line breaks, but for some reason I don't like the way this is laid out.
Glad to see you stopped by.
Good one bratsy! it's an awesome reminder!
nice one bratsy...provokes alot more feeling than the one i wrote about my mother!
you come up with such awesome ideas to write about!
i certainly hope that never happens....daunting poem...i like it....
Much like the unsavoury whoosh emitted when one inserts one's foot into a wellington.
Yes; the walk to the outhouse can be a terrible, lonely thing. Especially when you know you're going to do a whopper turd.
This is a really good poem. I'm not religious, but faith is something that everyone can relate to, no matter their beliefs. The rhymes and flow of the poem are astounding. *claps*
Sad write.
You spelled "awareness" wrong in your title, and I believe you meant "of" not "if" in the third stanza.
asshole. nigger. stupid sonovabitch. Idiot. imbecile. mammoth.
thats a hard subject to express well in a poem....GOOD JOB...
very very nice......been there...doing that