Dear heavens that last line is bad. Unless it's a perfectly plotted last line to make us realise the whole thing's a joke, in which case it's quite brilliant. If (as I suspect) it's not, allow me to point something out: What would be sad would be if teen suicide WASN'T an issue. Its being an issue at least means someone's noticed. (The previous of course assumes one thinks suicide a bad thing.)

Sad write.

You spelled "awareness" wrong in your title, and I believe you meant "of" not "if" in the third stanza.

This is the sort of thing you should have left on that sheet of lined paper and never bothered to type. It's quite bad, really. I'm sorry for your loss but it does not make for good poetry or moving reading.

This is the very worst thing you could do for the memory of the dead. You are unwittingly generalizing one more dead person and lumping them in with the rest who have had so many bad poems elegizing their deaths.

This poem, while it may be meaningful to you, is meaningless and laughable to the rest of us. If you can believe it, so many kiddies ask me to read poetry just like this expecting me to praise it. I do exactly what I'm doing now. I tell them this kind of poetry, as common as kleenex and as disposable, is exactly why "young creative writers" classes are a bad idea.

If you really want to do justice to the memory of the dead, focus on what made your friend unique in life, instead of what made your friend another badly rhymed "poem" among the rest of the prematurely dead.

is this a true story?



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