Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 20:18:14 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

Social Awarness (Free verse) by midnitebeauty101

Kneeling by your grave So many thoughts in my head You were always so brave Now you're nothing but dead After everything they teach None of us were aware You thought help was out of reach When all along it was there You were everyone's friend The star if the show Is there a sign you could send There's so much we don't know But now you're gone There's nothing we can do We just sit here forlorn Remembering you I wish I were mad Maybe then I wouldn't miss you And it really is so sad That teen suicide is such an issue

Sasha

31-Oct-04/7:21 AM

This is the sort of thing you should have left on that sheet of lined paper and never bothered to type. It's quite bad, really. I'm sorry for your loss but it does not make for good poetry or moving reading.

This is the very worst thing you could do for the memory of the dead. You are unwittingly generalizing one more dead person and lumping them in with the rest who have had so many bad poems elegizing their deaths.

This poem, while it may be meaningful to you, is meaningless and laughable to the rest of us. If you can believe it, so many kiddies ask me to read poetry just like this expecting me to praise it. I do exactly what I'm doing now. I tell them this kind of poetry, as common as kleenex and as disposable, is exactly why "young creative writers" classes are a bad idea.

If you really want to do justice to the memory of the dead, focus on what made your friend unique in life, instead of what made your friend another badly rhymed "poem" among the rest of the prematurely dead.

Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry

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