I like it too. another kind of parade might make me happier. unless it's supposed to carry the undertones of war. Say, any relation to the "band" wilco?

The first stanza kind of sounds a little forced and parts dont really make sense.

If your the spider am I the fly? For if so I must tell you that I am not defenceless. But I will drift toward your web despite myself. Watch me.

You turn my words against me so well. <3 Jason

It's not a bad poem, but I think it's unfair since Dylan Thomas can't answer, having pickled himself ages ago. Why don't you write a response to someone living? Seriously.

Some real advice for once: - Don't invert word order for a rhyme. - Don't cripple grammar for a rhyme. - Don't rhyme fear/tear, choose/lose, stand/hand, or taken/forsaken. An easy rule is: if any song I've ever heard does it, don't. - The way you continue sentences through lines like the ones ending in 'shun' and 'back' is really good. The rest of the lines seem poorly connected and mostly for rhyme's sake. - Punctuate. - Don't write poems about friends dissing and you don't know why.

This is simply preposterous. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but your relationship with tpbrod is actually hurting your poetry.

Sometimes I simply can't believe your an adult.

Did you just watch the movie "Girl with a Pearl Earring"? Just a wild guess.

Was the event really a Penispeople Busboarding? How odd!

Drop the word "Remember". From everywhere.

Q1: What about wars that actually take place mostly in the sky? Like, say, the last ten. Q2: What is involved in being patriotic to a nation with no laws? I wouldn't have thought it possible.

Some advice: Don't call yourself insane in a poem, or anywhere else for that matter. Trust me, being an Insane isn't all as cute as Benny & Joon or whatever. Most of them are missing a whole lot of teeth, stink to high heaven, and aren't anything even the most selfobsessed of misanthropes want to look like. If you saw a real one, you'd know what I was talking about.

More, more, give us more. . .I like your poems

Beware!

The best poem ever written. -10-

Drop the first line, since it's the same as the title, and change "mine" to "mind" in Line 3. Also, some of the punctuation is not needed. Otherwise pretty good.

It's a catch to it all,we all have been a sucker for Advertisement sometime in our life.

The last verse seems overdone, otherwise pretty good.

A mountainous mass of crawling yak shit. You, sir, would not know a gentleman from a training bra. I bid you good day!