| Re: Mirrored by MacFrantic |
Bethy 24.222.32.234 |
9-Aug-05/12:43 PM |
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its like playing a record backwards...lol Bethy
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| Re: Ain,t Life Fuckin Great,(part2 The Stone Man) by Bethy |
Stephen Robins 84.13.16.96 |
9-Aug-05/2:34 PM |
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| Re: First by Dovina |
Stephen Robins 84.13.16.96 |
9-Aug-05/2:38 PM |
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| Re: Bible Quoting Fag Killer (So it is said) by Blindproject217 |
RGSsparky 81.136.193.42 |
9-Aug-05/5:25 PM |
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I actually think this is a great poem. WELL DONE, 10!,
i also commend you for standing up for yourself infront of all these people stabbing at your faith.
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| Re: Home by Bethy |
RGSsparky 81.136.193.42 |
9-Aug-05/5:37 PM |
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very descriptive. prostitute, i assume.
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| Re: Home by Bethy |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
9-Aug-05/6:54 PM |
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I like the rhythm.
She walked up and down
paw > pa?
The last 2 lines confuse. Maybe you mean "she'd do anything but go back there"
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| Re: Why...? by muffielouise |
7!3 219.93.174.102 |
10-Aug-05/6:10 AM |
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haha i like it.... and i mean the spelling mistakes, too!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 12.72.23.158 |
10-Aug-05/6:45 AM |
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The rhythm is so good that glytches really stand out.
For example:
With four paws to cuddle to you
And two eyes opened so wide?
could be:
With four paws to cuddle you
And two eyes opened wide
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
ALChemy 65.188.89.69 |
10-Aug-05/7:06 AM |
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Change the last two lines (too morbid) and you could probably get this published as a children's book. Brought out the kid in me a little.
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| Re: Stream of Consciousness (#2) by MacFrantic |
T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185 |
10-Aug-05/8:48 AM |
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fallen within the drenched raincoat she finds a penguin cavity filled with desire to run and roam and make pool noodles out of foam
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| Re: Stream of Consciousness (#1) by Enkidu |
T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185 |
10-Aug-05/8:50 AM |
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Immediately remove your keyboard, shellac it, and donate it to the local museum. Next, buy a new one and finish this novel. Run straight home, Charlie: This. Is. Your. Golden. Ticket.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185 |
10-Aug-05/8:52 AM |
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What class was this written in? Before lunch or after lunch? Details please.
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| Re: Come back to me Nancy (or if not, then Faye) by T. Jonathron Remp |
Bethy 24.222.32.221 |
10-Aug-05/10:15 AM |
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Jon this is magnificent...its a fav for me...Bethy:)
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| Re: Stream of Consciousness (#1) by Enkidu |
Bethy 24.222.32.221 |
10-Aug-05/10:21 AM |
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Keep going...keep going...this is really great...Bethy:)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bethy 24.222.32.221 |
10-Aug-05/10:27 AM |
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I don,t know what to say...*9* Bethy:)
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| Re: The cat who would fly by nentwined |
<~> 167.206.181.179 |
11-Aug-05/1:54 PM |
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placid may not be the right word, k. it diminishes the impact of the rest of the otherwise strong poem.
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| Re: sculpture by ThePariahDog |
ALChemy 65.188.89.69 |
12-Aug-05/6:44 AM |
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This is a concrete poem. Pretty neat on too.
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| Re: The cat who would fly by nentwined |
Mona Lisa 172.214.52.232 |
12-Aug-05/9:01 AM |
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Line 6 just affects the whole thing. Otherwise its a peach.
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| Re: The cat who would fly by nentwined |
Shuushin 147.154.235.52 |
12-Aug-05/1:01 PM |
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I very much like the ending - I think maybe too many small words pull the punch a bit.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.104 |
12-Aug-05/1:07 PM |
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David questioned, why can't we?
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