regarding some deleted poem...	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/7:51 PM
The feeble of mind would take 'I'd show you the beauty that I see/Every time you look at me' as a sign of impending narcissism. And from the first two lines, we seem to have to note that it's your fault this person feels so bad.
regarding some deleted poem...	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/7:54 PM
About the whole rhyming thing: one's great ambition when it comes to writing poems should not be to end up published by Hallmark. Also, the fourth line: what exactly do you mean?
Re: Stardust by TLRufener	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/7:58 PM
Let me see... I read and voted on this twenty minutes ago. What exactly have you changed?
Re: My Dad's Armchair. by Bethy	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/8:03 PM
Hmm. Get rid of the initial 'Oh'. Fifth stanza, get rid of 'and'. There are a few other rhythmic things I'd think could be changed, but can't think how. The end of each line does not require a punctuation mark.
Re: 9/5 by cronus	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/8:04 PM
Eighth line, get rid of 'That'.
Re: Strength by Dovina	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/8:06 PM
Could stand another take.
Re: Untitled by bellafuego	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/8:07 PM
A prose poem, I take it? A bit too prosy, even for that.
Re: the birds are still here by ay deee	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/8:10 PM
Hee hee. That's lovely.
Re: Baudelaire: The Albatross by Sasha	Tintagiles 142.166.234.130	7-Sep-05/8:13 PM
For a translation insisting to rhyme, this is very good. One small wince is that in your version it sounds like it's only the crew of one ship that would do this, while in the original it's any old bunch of sailors.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.61.101.130	7-Sep-05/8:53 PM
I know this is really an odd complaint, but there may be too much imagery here....still, pretty good and it's worded well..
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.61.101.130	7-Sep-05/8:54 PM
It started well, but after the first line just sort of died....probably the worst thing I've ever read that you've written.
Re: Cat Poem by MacFrantic	wilco 66.61.101.130	7-Sep-05/9:00 PM
Hmm, I hate cats too but I don't know if I'd go that far..still a good poem though.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 86.108.16.59	8-Sep-05/5:30 AM
"Quiero te amar mucho" is absolutely the worst Spanish of all the Spanish you've posted on this site. Please, please learn another language. Like English. Or if you feel you're not frightening him away fast enough with your lunatic self-abasement, you can say it in Arabic and sound exactly like a choking budgerigar. AHHebbach chtiiran, zodiac
Re: Beneath The Undertow by longships	zodiac 86.108.16.59	8-Sep-05/5:30 AM
Did the undertow tow him to somewhere beneath the undertow? How odd. How?
Re: The Scout by wilco	Crakyamuni 131.252.231.75	8-Sep-05/10:56 AM
It's interesting to see natures reactions to our debauchery. The image of the wolves retaking the land strikes very poignantly, check out my edit of modern death. It's been changed quite a bit.
regarding some deleted poem...	Crakyamuni 131.252.231.75	8-Sep-05/10:57 AM
It's like mis informed D a D a
Re: Beneath The Undertow by longships	Crakyamuni 131.252.231.75	8-Sep-05/11:00 AM
Whats with the boats, and water stuff? Television is taking over your minds. Mankinds number one poison, TV. I'm affected, goddamn I'm affected.
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 68.49.8.49	8-Sep-05/11:03 AM
You are hurting the internet.
regarding some deleted poem...	Crakyamuni 131.252.230.15	8-Sep-05/12:24 PM
For claiming to be an artist. What? Sculpture? I might switch to fecal matter you know, sort of an Transylvanian-provera feel, it would suit your faux-poe masturbation quite nicely.
Re: Internet Junkie by cuddlytiger17	Crakyamuni 131.252.230.15	8-Sep-05/12:33 PM
The last four lines ring of something beyond the screen, I like that, links, ties, bonds, slavery! Not in a kinked out way, but deeper. Cudos lady.