What on Jupiter are you talking about?

The question always has to be asked, when exactly did a separatiion of friends really happen? It's not when one of them walks away, but sometime before, maybe a long time before the other even suspected it. "When did you walk away?" is a good question.

wow. I'm waaaaaay off. I thought it was a litany against blacks! HA! I gotta get out more.

What's the Johnson-wax effect, then?

Where's my kick on credit?

good imagery though the here/forever rhyme doesn't really draw me in. May be you could find an altogether better line than "then we will live forever"...that seemed a bit hackneyed. Otherwise it was nice work!

Beautiful!

An amusing little story. RED and brown? Does the bird have colon cancer?

I find it interesting that when people use the written word to say bad things about black people they call it irony if they don't really mean it. I would have thought using socially unacceptable words and thoughts gives the writer a kick, a reactance against censorship. That is not really irony.

What are you, like 13?

what are you like 5?

I'd rather play my own tune, make it ryhm, tap its rythm, than to settle for the band. That would be real.

Here it's poetry, at the steel mill it's a safety instruction manual. Not that bad though. Sounds like a circa 1930s setting.

Do you even know what your poem means? If so explain if you're not afraid of causing even more criticism. Or am I being too obtuse for your highfaluting intelligence. If so by all means delete everything that ever made you look smaller than your exploding ego.

"Roxanne! You don't have to put on the red light..." Your use of whom is pretentious and wrong. See usage note: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=who Some letters are missing after your apostrophes.

Well written. Get rid of the inversion (I shall hesitate not etc) and the I'e whatever that means and the whom. You are quite the precocious talent.

Oh, you are upset because I deleted a comment. I just thought you were a rambling idiot. :(

Credit where its due this is the best I've seen from you and deserves comments. I see a lot of control in this and the language form is a detraction from your usual style. In a word - graceful.

I got some ideas from this - inspiring and bar raising.

I think you should drop "on fridays" to help the rhythm of the poem flow better. Feels like the melancholy you see in a lot of those indie films. Bed tortoise: Great image. You can really tell the wording was well thought out.