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a casting is rescued (Free verse) by ay deee
at a workshop in a steamy hellhole mildew climbs the walls a giant vise should rust but for constant oil cast iron from template all thread two inches thick two arms clutching a cluster of chain forged for strength this chain lowers slowly slipping links a pool of carbonlesss steel below our workpiece becoming sacrificial a pair of keys and a throw switch are required to stop this operation but wait here is the man with the chemical glove a precious coating invincibility at the cost of mobility our hero swings in from vines will his grip hold or will we work late tonight?

Up the ladder: The Stab

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10182
Posted: November 7, 2005 10:04 AM PST; Last modified: November 7, 2005 10:04 AM PST
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Comments:
[6] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 | 7-Nov-05/12:45 PM | Reply
Would be stronger with a few words scratched - carbonless, "is" in the title, becoming, invincibility.
[n/a] ay deee @ 204.90.50.252 > Dovina | 12-Nov-05/2:45 PM | Reply
what do you dislike about carbonless?
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 7-Nov-05/8:34 PM | Reply
Here it's poetry, at the steel mill it's a safety instruction manual.
Not that bad though. Sounds like a circa 1930s setting.
[n/a] ay deee @ 204.90.50.252 > ALChemy | 12-Nov-05/2:48 PM | Reply
an awfully dramatic safety manual.
I work as a sculptor in an old mechanical engineering building, circa late 1800s i think. 1930s would work too. it was one of the first buildings around here, and i don't think much maintainance has been done on the place over all. a sort of wierd inspiration in itself...
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