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When Did You Walk Away? (Free verse) by TLRufener The world has become confusing
Everything I knew has changed
The sun has hidden behind the clouds
And each day it only rains
A river of tears flows from my eyes
The ocean waves are cold and gray
My heart has shattered into a million pieces
Wondering âwhen did you walk away?â
I cannot help but ask who is by your side
I see you together each and every day
She suits you well, better than me
At least that is what you say
She can keep you as long as she can
I have to wonder how soon you will stray
After that the roles will be switched
She will ask âwhen did you walk away?â
Your life will carry on until you die
Always changing opponents in you fray
Each and every heart you break
Will band together in strength and pray
The tables will turn on you soon
A girl will be the one to stray
You will cry alone with your broken heart
Asking, âwhen did you walk away?â
Up the ladder:
Chocolate Bunny
Down the ladder:
Dream of the Moon
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: November 6, 2005 2:05 PM PST; Last modified: November 6, 2005 2:05 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7979 Comments:
[7]
zodiac @ 217.144.7.195
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7-Nov-05/5:20 AM
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Reply
I know you use your poetry to convey your thoughts and experiences and wish to make an accurate account of your life and times and everything, but did you know that in 61 poems you've asked an astonishing 83 questions? Do you plan on ever answering anything?
The question always has to be asked, when exactly did a separatiion of friends really happen? It's not when one of them walks away, but sometime before, maybe a long time before the other even suspected it. "When did you walk away?" is a good question.
I wish you had not deleted some fifty comments.
When the comments no longer pertain to the piece, and all the commenters are doing is fighting with each other, I feel that they can be deleted.
It's like a housefull of kids tearing the house up with our ruckus sometimes. I guess we should fight on our turfs.
I guess we've at least gotten to the bottom of "Do you plan on ever answering anything?".
Not everything has an answer, and sometimes the answers to questions we ask now won't surface until later in life.
Yeah exactly like what precisely does make your shower curtain suck in when you turn on the shower? This topic has been debated by people with real scientific degrees. Apparently nobody has gotten the funding yet to do the appropriate tests.
Yes, but most of your questions have answers, and most of those answers are either yes or no. To name a few others,
Q: Where have equality slipped off to? A: It was never here. You've been taken by an equality impersonator with a bad accent. Q: Did you ever hear me cry? A: No. And I don't want to. Stop that right now, mister. Q: Did the Angel knock upon your door? A: If it did, I was in the shower. Q: Did they carry you away? A: Who? Weren't you talking about one angel? Um, no. Q: When you looked into their eyes did they option you to stay? A: No. Nice grammar though. Q: What did I do to make them take you from me? A: You have to believe in them to make them come, usually accompanied by saying 'Angel, Angel, Angel' in a mirror at exactly midnight. Buying an Angel tv-show box-set does it too. Q: When did you walk away? A: Easy. Right before I wasn't there any more. Time to move on. What I'm trying to say is that people read poems be spoonfed answers, or to check their answers against someone else's. If I ever did think of a question I thought had no answer, I'd avoid putting it in a poem, for fear some reader who knew the answer would think I was kind of dumb. You can't say I'm not talking about your poems.
I write my poems to help myself come to terms with feelings that I have. Many of my poems have stories behind them and out of context, they don't make sense. I just look for opinions on the writing and possible meanings to find a different way to look at them.
Oh. Okay. Well it was just a suggestion.
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