DreamerSupreme
on some deleted poem
2 Jan 2009, 7:56 AM
It ain't concepts of paradise that fuck it all up--
It's the gods and the different ways of observing them, and the monopoly each one claims to have on their variant forms of paradise, that make it so hellish on earth that one is stressed into religion-- seeking prescribed forms of paradise lost.
We gave this deity form... why don't we fucking kill him/her/it already and skip to the paradise part of it all?
ok?!
funny, but pointless
that's the Holocaust for ya. This poem is excellent!!!
Dan ! You goofball.
S-1 lose the hardware. keep the prize, the psyche, the phil.
S-2 merge those last two lines
drop the h/h
"hate for the sake of gods..." aint it the truth.
for all intents and p/r purposes......
Thanks for the read and the critique, In.
You are spot on!
Amen. and then some.
wouldn't have to wait if someone would just push the damn thing.
http://poemranker.com.poem-details.jsp?id=80113
trying to get moving again, Soup ? I hear ya.
The beauty of your poem is that it's beautifully simple and It's just great
to poets who has ignored the concept of beauty
is something we define and re-define
we just get things worse by ignoring the beauties that we are the fathers of ...
we're here in the same wasteland of poetry
I write bad poetry and procrastinate my death. Yawn.
Thank you, I take it personally behind my fake face, for there I am beautiful
Swimming to the end of the ocean is a great way to go. Like riding a bicycle day after day until . . .
Like it even though it preaches like the preacher it condemns.
âJesus saw redemption . . . suicide or the cleansing of sinâ interesting line
âKeep thy eyes forwardâ Thatâs âthineâ but mixing vintage is a sin
I figured it a love letter to someone you know and was about to suggest handwriting and sending, until the last verse.
at least you're not bitter!
mmmmmmm, I wanna get dressed in that
it's not about your poem
it's about you though
oh love... you have no kind of flaw or fault
so then we begin to sing and make love
everything that s excellent
let our hearts just as pure and fair
may beat in as one heart