| Re: The Book of Images by Dovina |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37 |
1-Feb-06/10:44 PM |
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Dovina.... very good. a good collection of images. I think I will vote you a -10-. I have been reading all the reviews here, and have taken note of advice given, for you to improve on your style, or write some matter of your own, (not to copy ideas) or to read other major poets(eg. Keats) etc. what I would like to point out is that, almost everybody copies ideas, or copy the style of some poet or the other. If Keats could have his style, or Blake have his, I don't see why you can't have your own style or view on what you want to present. So for that reason I think I'd vote you what I did. Am I being abstract?
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| Re: Les Imagistes by Nicholas Jones |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37 |
2-Feb-06/12:27 AM |
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Reading all the stuff put down here, I'm inspired to write a poem titled "Dreamer". As for your poem.... its good. its got matter and a sense of imagining where you are.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 62.171.194.8 |
2-Feb-06/2:34 AM |
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| Re: Nomads by amanda_dcosta |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
2-Feb-06/4:06 AM |
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't haikus supposed to have 5 syllables in the first and last lines?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Caducus 172.200.40.168 |
2-Feb-06/5:09 AM |
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liked voluptuous land of fields and the end line is so true it made me think you're an expert people watcher.
I like the shift too in S3 into fantasy (satyrs etc) by doing this you make these larger people erotic and add an almost klimpt image to accompany your words.
'Boyish physiques' will one day be the one line where this poem wont have to be dated - urghh stick insects.
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| Re: Ode to Seduction by MacFrantic |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:20 AM |
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I'll let someone else corerect your punctuation...it need work...but this is cool.
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| Re: Ode to Seduction by MacFrantic |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:21 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:22 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:28 AM |
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| Re: stormcast (a true story) by FreeFormFixation |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:33 AM |
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I'm confused. Take a breath, calm down and then tell me again; what happened?
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| Re: Unhappy Marriages by Caducus |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:36 AM |
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Grammar! You attempt puncuation...get help with that.
Unclear in places..."owned by leaves and wax"
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| Re: Unhappy Marriages by Caducus |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:37 AM |
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This has some great moments...keep working on it.
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| Re: Even the elephants by ecargo |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:42 AM |
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...and hide like the sky?
Consider dropping one of the 'hard' (at eyes, IMO)
3rd. stanza a little bit uncomfortable in rythm.
I like this...just needs a tweak.
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| Re: Nomads by amanda_dcosta |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37 |
2-Feb-06/8:50 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
2-Feb-06/8:52 AM |
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I don't bank Natwest, but from what I've heard your poem rings true. Because the fifth line made me burst out laughing you can have a 7.
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| Re: A Cleansing Of Creeds by Caducus |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:54 AM |
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The first 2 stanza seem like you were going to write something else...seems disconnected in style from the rest of it. This is not the first I have seen lately drawing parallels. Surprised you didn't throw Sudan into the mix, but hey, you did address this well. (I am relieved when I see other drawing the parallels, too. Gives me some sort of faith in intellegence. Basing my score on your Dropping the first two stanzas, and using them somewhere else, as they ARE rather unigue.
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| Re: Valentine? by celticskatermatt1 |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/8:56 AM |
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LOL...God's wife...and I'm with you Nich
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
2-Feb-06/8:57 AM |
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| Re: Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37 |
2-Feb-06/8:58 AM |
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Isn't it supposed to be size 11 soles? (U wrote 'souls') Is it to imply anything? Nice poem..Good story. Prose form good.... though I would have liked it in shorter lines. Seems to take away some of the emphasis. But the story.... I have to give it to you! Cheers!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.139.135 |
2-Feb-06/9:03 AM |
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nope...I don't even know where to start...not even valguely interesting...Do you want critique? Advice? I think this would qualify for the trashcan, or save to look back on later, when you grow up. I promise you will wince at your early writing attempts. I am curious to see what others have to say about this piece, but will post and THEN go see.
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