Beautiful, stanza 3 in particular. Change 'dawn's knives' to something softer.

Hey Bethy good to see you back. Happy Valentines day.

I like the story in this, although I feel it would benefit from more descriptive language. 'Huge pole' is very simplistic and doesn't feel right in this; even just saying 'concrete pole' puts a little more imagery into this. See what you think.

For some reason I keep hearing Springsteen sing this when I read it. Maybe it's because I used to hear "Tenth avenue freeze out" and thought he was saying "Tell the devil you can freeze hell". Anyway for that you get an 8.

I'm sure amanda_dcosta can tell you tons of stuff about the mentally disabled. I like this poem, I haven't read it but I like it.

He doesn't exist outside this poem but I'm sure he resembles quite a few people. I like the character you've made.

Sounds like a lyrical hodgepodge of uncertainty and frustration. Am I missing some theme?

this is really down with the kids

There's potential here, although I don't like stanzas 4 and 6. You could do well bringing out the sort of taint on the love (as you do in the last stanza) more, I think. As it's a draft I'll hold rating it for when it's edited.

awesome love the visuals

religion and man, the enternal paradox, much as we would like to believe we are all knowing, in our modern world science has so many answers, but deep inside a question who am i? deeper inside a voice quite and faint, growing stronger as you listen. superego cries freud, conscience cries science. my question is why the heck was it programmed into the system in the first place?. do i see an old man with merry eyes smiling!!. ask questions he says? do you have all the answers my friend. man i sure wish i knew........... i am too weak to hold onto faith.......

why did you miss death, afraid!!!

Not particularly my style.

This is really good! This might be my favorite poem I've read from you, and quite possibly your best. My only warning: do not get drunk with your power; that is what liquor is for.

This doesn't say anything to me, your last post was much better.

Dovina, this is excellently written, but a bit long. I can't really see anything that needs removing though, maybe I'm just impatient today.

Makes me think of Cardiff, this wonderful city.

Hahaha, I'm laughing, see. Now will you stop telling this joke.

Who is the inspiration behind this poem?

I had to look this up so don't feel bad but she didn't rise from the entrails of Poseidon but from Uranus' severed penis. I can certainly see why you wouldn't want to say that though. I only looked it up because I thought she came out of a clam shell. Everything else in the poem is great.