Edna Sweetlove
on COCK by Stephen Robins
14 Aug 2006, 1:11 PM
You must be some sort of intellectual giant. Not.
Unfunny doggerel. How old are you? 52 going on 12?
Fabulous. Roy Orbison (old wall-eye) was a god.
Confused and confusing.
I'm a fussy arse, me. This is good, but the exclaimation marks are superfluous I think, and it would be much more beautiful and understated without them. Sorry.
Boring in the extreme. And what on earth are all these garbage comments about? People should get a life and grow up.
Most unpleasant. And racist too.
If it wasn't so wordy, it could be better. I'm not saying I don't like wordy stuff; I'm a bit of a sesquipedelian myself, but the more obscure words and tangled phrases seem unnecessary and draw it dangerously close to pretention, and pretentious is a hard look to pull off well.
In spite of the fact that you (or someone pretending to be you) left a fucking pompous note on someone else's poem (it may actually have been your own poem, as the 2 writing styles are similar), I thought this was rather good, if slightly over-extended. One point: why the syperfluous capital letters splattered over the place and why use that HIDEOUSLY DOWNMARKET slang word "gonna"? I'm still GONNA GIVYA A 9.
No.
The trouble with really fat women is that often a lover cannot tell which is which: dirt box or love tunnel. Only a delicate fart can give the necessary clue.
Stephen Robins
on The Midget Angel On The Hideous Field Of Death by Edna Sweetlove
15 Aug 2006, 4:00 AM
You guide a black man's penis up your arse.
for the heroine and the poetic justice (pun intended), a 10.
the poem could be more powerful. as it stands, the story is stronger than the presentation.
damn good
This is fuzzy, but I fail to see, in a real world, how a person can look for and find a dream. Dreams just happen without effort. Okay, you maen it some other way.
Welcome back. I remember the term, whemy. Are you back now to open a discussion about it?
The thesis stated in the first two lines is unsupported by the body of the poem. I suggest you drop the title and the thesis and deal with the history as it stands.
Confusing title, unless "she" could also be your watch. The whole thing is bewildering as to where it goes.