<{Baba^Yaga}>
on some deleted poem
5 Dec 2003, 12:06 PM
So serious. but I guess EIGHTY will do that to a person. Jesus.
What?
No, No - I got it; don't tell me...
Hmmmmm [rubs chin]. This is a representation of evolutionary paths - forever changing, but everpresent. Genetic sequences adding and subtracting, random selection - traits and characteristics bound and unbound. Though races may differ they are still of the same material, yet always growing/adapting; never adult...
OR this represents the capitalist inclination to think everything, including time itself, revolves around the same economic, and therfore social goals - a kind of socioeconomicentric world-view similar to that of a child: "mine, mine, gimme gimme".
ORRR - a pscychographic representation of the street bound. Each day a repetitive drug induced halucinogenic voyage of universal, timeless understanding. Days bleed into nights, street bleeds into sky, meaning blends into non-meaning.
OR! The dichotomy between the mechanical (presently inanimate) world and the living biological world (the subtext of "life" defined included). non-veined leaves of evergreens and veined leaves of changeable plants (oaks, maples) representing the two camps. Grey and silver of machines, pink (white) and black of humanity juxtaposed over a temporal full spectrum background.
It could also be about cooking, a specific location in an urban setting, daycare scandals, wood preservatives, or fundraising.
interesting. you managed to muster enough creativity to get a few laughs out of the more immature users of the site, all by just changing two of my lines. i have little problem with you polluting the listings with your own crap, so just keep to that. and maybe credit me if you're crude enough to brutalize another one of my poems.
APPLAUSE CHRYSTAL...way to dig. I knew you had it in you! I love this one. :-)
eh...seems a bit bland. I like your username though.
my sausage is perfect.
shhhhhh - Shuushin - just enjoy the words. (all your analyzing just might have given me a headache).
Richa - very nice tone - deep thoughts in so few lines. Lovely.
*breath
Other than that, I like it. The rhym is a little choppy, but I think you could smooth it out pretty easily.
I stuggle for meaning but enjoy the melody(?)...i'm a ding-dong, excuse me, I can't give you anything constructive, will a 7 do?
Focused, and well written. Poetry.
fun
Once, I could touch my toes, but now I just let others.
thats how i feel about my girl
really good, i like it alot. very from the heart it seems, have a 9
Fuck yeah.
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OFTEN = ...(_)$(_)
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Fo you mouf.
good on you... 10
Stop the madness! You obviously like to hear your own "shattered fragments" of what you call [free] speech. Have you always been prone to ridicule others, or, did addiction do that to you?
During that time, did you seek counseling or just stare into a mirror - blaming self-absorption as your cure?
There once was a poet named manning
who did gave his dick a fanning,
as his cheese bleu high
the World let this reply,
"Thank DOG for Family Planning."
If your pulmonary consciousness really demands priority, start living outside of a test tube. No more lies, there is only truth. Your "inner chaos demands balance", or at the least, a chemical additive. What a viscious circle you prescribe.