| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
xxxmas (Free verse) by kingit Anger steeping
Angels weeping
Santa's clause this year
is keeping
flea-rid reindeer
will not feign cheer
elves & Mrs.Claus
be slain, dear
Hang your Holly
bang your Molly
joyful! blissful!
fistful jolly!
Eggnog, rum & rum & rum
& rum & rum & redrum
more red, in fact
than the fat hippies suit...
celebrate!
spread the cheer!
& spread her legs
keep far from mind
us drunken & depress-ed dregs
lest, you become
the larvae
of our hatch-ed
hatred Eggs
Up the ladder:
Little Bit of Life
Down the ladder:
So Shall I For You
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.75
Posted: December 3, 2003 10:59 PM PST; Last modified: December 3, 2003 10:59 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.4706473 Overall Rank: 2847 Comments:
[8]
richa @ 81.178.253.146
|
4-Dec-03/9:28 AM
|
Reply
cute word play, the last five lines of the first verse seem to lose the way though.
Yeah but, see how I pick IT up in the 2nd stanza, eh?
Picks up towards the end, thankfully.
excerrent up to "Eggnog" - its the stacato rum that breaks it.
the last stanza... first two lines, fine. The rest - would go nice in a diff. piece methinks.
I agree with richa...it starts off great, but you get more crude and less fun at the end.
crude= fun for some. Thanks, you've all given me a valuable lesson here.
are magotts larvae..are silk worms larvae? well dunno im sooo happpy now i can swimm to key largo and drag J.Mannings chewed up corpus delictai.. and not feel the weight of hes deer punctured ass.Cheers to you i will drink to that xmas mess an happy new year..got's to go and dance, my sexy smooth, stand up and take notice, peachy clean untouched ass till the brake of dawn and then some. & I will kick your's Manning from one side of the missi to honolulu! I"ll drink to that..
in company of my friends who are waiting on you santa's lil helpers...come on down. 227 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
