poemranker ::Limbs by Dovina

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Free verse № 116358

Limbs

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 9 Dec 2004 · 18 comments

Live oak limbs— Crooked, unorganized. Lightning bolt— Jagged, as if lost going home. Never linear for long, Deluded by fluff, Wanderers on whims. Built in an instant Or century, Like me, The easiest shape.

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mean 6.75 weighted 5.47 rank 2846 views 287 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

18 comments

[10] Dan garcia-Black 10-Dec-04/8:50 AM Reply
Are you the lightning, the oak or the result of the meeting of the two? I like being the moss on the North side never seeing the sun. The lightning was bright. It was fun to watch.
[n/a] Dovina › Dan garcia-Black 10-Dec-04/10:05 AM Reply
I hadn’t thought of the lightning striking the oak, it adds another direction this thing could go. Shocked moss!
[n/a] zodiac › Dovina 11-Dec-04/6:06 AM Reply
Reading this comment, I wondered briefly how you might respond to the suggestion that the reason your poems can go in so many 'directions' is that they utterly fail to say anything at all coherently.

My guess is, "Poot".
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 10-Dec-04/4:14 PM Reply
What a squalid and ignoble dunce cap, on a poetic career of steadily diminishing returns. -10-
[n/a] Dovina › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 10-Dec-04/4:59 PM Reply
Thank you for the invitation of membership in The Rutherford Club. So nicely phrased. I must, however, decline due to prior commitments.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Dovina 11-Dec-04/3:59 AM Reply
You aren't an uncouth bum, you are a Mature Poete, and hence aren't invited.
[7] Bobjim 10-Dec-04/5:14 PM Reply
weird
[n/a] Dovina › Bobjim 10-Dec-04/5:23 PM Reply
Have you never followed the easiest path?
[7] Bobjim › Dovina 10-Dec-04/5:29 PM Reply
of course i have. like with this poem. i've only read the first line.
[n/a] Dovina › Bobjim 10-Dec-04/5:32 PM Reply
Well then, oak tree limbs do look weird sometimes. You are the weird one.
[7] Bobjim › Dovina 10-Dec-04/5:35 PM Reply
ignoring all but the last 5 words, i take that as a compliment
[n/a] Dovina › Bobjim 10-Dec-04/5:38 PM Reply
Have you read it yet?
[7] Bobjim › Dovina 10-Dec-04/6:03 PM Reply
id say that depends on whether you mean the poem or the comment, but id be lying. either way, the answers no.
[n/a] richa 11-Dec-04/3:40 AM Reply
The language acquisition device in your brain seems to have horribly dysfunctioned. These are not sentences.
[n/a] Dovina › richa 11-Dec-04/11:44 AM Reply
That, unfortunately for all who may wish it, was not the reason for periods where sentences do not end. They denote breaks or ends of incomplete sentences. Of course I did not place them outside of quotation marks, as some do. If you wish to converse civilly, I could add that most of the punctuation, except the dashes, could be removed.
[n/a] richa › Dovina 11-Dec-04/1:43 PM Reply
and if I were to converse more plainly I would say you use two verbs in four (incomplete?) sentences which seems a bit stingy. 'The live oak limbs hang crooked' sounds so much more like a sentence than the stunted 'live oak limbs-(=) Crooked'.
[n/a] Dovina › richa 11-Dec-04/2:04 PM Reply
That’s both plain and civil, and not a bad suggestion. Stinginess has its place, but maybe real sentences would work better here. Live oak limbs do not often hang, however, they usually rise. Maybe:

Live oak limbs rise
Crooked, unorganized.
Lightning bolts hang
Jagged, as if lost going home.
Never linear for long,
Deluded by fluff,
They wander on whims.
Built in an instant
Or century,
Like me, they assume
The easiest shape.

Thanks.
[10] blacksoul 12-Dec-04/3:39 AM Reply
I always wanted to know how old was the oak trees that we had in our back yard were. -10-