and tis the year of the monkey

This is absolutely briliant. Though I suspect the use of "the" in line two was incidentall, and intended only to achieve sylable count, the result is nevertheles startlingly evocative.

When I think of a lyric, I think of lines of waffle and then some incendiary line that can be quoted ad nauseum. This is good too, like the musicality. It would probably make a decent vilanelle (like a lot of lyrics).

Its very hard to beleve in GOD in this mad world

Yeah, well... It parallels the writing.

Have you ever got a zit in your ear?!!!!!! It's fucking murder.

how you endowed angels and demons into this poem is why you are hopeless.

Like you, I also worship the insenstive, impure God of monstrously daft poetry.

Here here! And where is he these days? And his pops.

I like stanzas 1,6,11. The rest sounds pimply. Unless you're hiding a villanelle in there. n/v

a ten in the hopes we may be blessed with his holy presence.

"After some treatments you'll look like a sith." Is that a Star Wars reference? lol Sounds a lot like it... Nice poem.

If the meaning of the holiday is so damn important, why is it only one day a year we treat people "nicely".

Oh YES baby. This coffee, it VIBRATES? Seriously I don't care how many rules this poem breaks I love it. It is robust, exuberant, with an innocent aftertaste of blossoms, full of body. And full of metaphorical body, or at least i read it that way, but I'm just an old lech. I COULD NOT STOP thinking "blowjob" the whole way through. I WANT TO BE COFFEE!!!! Can I be coffee, can I please please? KEEP going snowflake, I think you are the next Princess Bukowski.

There's no way one day is enough for remembering the way Our Lord came. It was a prodigious coming, a coming like no other coming before and no coming since. Borne among animals, what He proved in his growth requires WEEKS out of the year to comprehend.

I'm trying to parse the first stanza and I would like to know if I got it right. I'll add in the conjunctive phrases I am using to provide an interpretation in square brackets: [while]Eating my soul[,] Your touch is so cold [that] I thought you meant [to eat] everything [but instead] You [have] made it into a whole lot of NOTHING [making the exercise of having my soul eaten seem somewhat pointless since it no longer exists] Ok, I know that last bit is a little more than a conjunctive phrase, but did I get it more or less right? Thanks.

I think it's ace that God flew down from Jesu Park in the form of His only son so that He could suffer on the cross, then die, then come back to life again, then turn back into the non-humanoid God, then fly back up to Jesu Park, all so that He wouldn't have to send us to Hell. But rather than go through all that, why didn't he just not send us to hell? Why arse around on a cross? To pay the price for our sins? A price that He Himself has inflicted? Is that justice? What is just about Jesu taking the flack for our naughtiness? It makes no sense! nooooooooooooo!

I know exactly how you feel. I too have always hated that weird smell that girls have when they cry.

'other' indeed!

You seem to have put effort into getting the syllable count correct. Unfortunately it should be 5-7-5 not 5-5-7. Personally I would say abandon the syllable counting and just write something in the spirit of haiku. This poem is by no stretch of the imagination a haiku, but nevertheless I find it cute.