Liked the first run. This is better though.

Laid dung? He had sex with feces? Put this where it belongs. As an addendum to "child".

ok, let me see if I got this: You (a slave with a master) were playing with matches under a lark's nest, the fire got a little out of hand and people started singing, their chorus drowning out the chirping of the lark as everyone rushed to and fro trying to put the fire out. You realized that once again you screwed up, because every time play with fire without your master's supervision, you accidentally set larks' nests on fire. You're so confused now that you forget how to get home so you hope your loving master will show up and show you the path so you can go home where he will care for you, but you're pretty sure he will make you crawl home begging. Pardon me, but WHAT THE HELL are you TALKING about??? Are you, like, some kind of bdsm scene person who sets fires and then gets their "master" to spank them for it? Is this a fetish poem? I don't get it.

uh.. unless I'm missing some hidden poetic part... I don't see why you posted this...

Written for my ex girlfriend as an anniversary present... and smashing Pumkins is her favorite band...

At this early hour, the poem's dichotomies seem tender, the self-interrogation nearly gentle. With the light of day the edges may turn hard and unjust, i know, but at the moment... Honest to (nearly) the core, i appreciate.

Again, this is possibly simply the fact of the near-full moon, but...intimations of the Other Side? or, to quote, "dustbunnies where there are none"?

...they need point-fives when voting.

i had not read this one for a while. Coming back to it, i like it even more, possibly because i have been listening to Bruce Co(ck)burn and find echos of him in here.

Hmmm. Your moniker suggests something juvenile. Your topics don't. I would suggest combining this with the other (8 minutes). The good morning simply needs more material. Wear your safety belt. It can be a rough ride around these parts.

Really really good. Based on the fact that Tinty-G is your referrer, and this poem, I'd say you'll be moving on soon.

this poem was so confusing it's great

Wow, thats all i can say

dude, this should be a song, it's real great

it has a sweet nothing to it that makes it ring

I think I know how you feel, love's a bitch

kinda confusing, so it's pretty good

Holy crap man, thats awesome, never let anyone tell you to change it in any way, cuz it's perfect the way it is

ok, i hate rap, which doesn't mean this is bad, just not my taste

you should do something for her just cuz you love her so much don't you think?