xxx
on some deleted poem
16 Feb 2004, 11:36 AM
Just as bad as the one before.
This is some quick scrawl that I wrote.. so no, it isn't something I put much effort into-- but I thought it might amuse or interest some.
This thought of icarus being converted to fuel some other thought or inspiration is a good one.
Would be worthy of a poem with it as a central theme. The idea of it can be used in other similar tales - like christ's body used as fertilizer, perhaps (would have to work around the logic problem of the whole stored in a cave thing, though).
As for the rest of this poem, it smacks of an attack on someone, though I don't think the reader is given a solid idea of who - a personal mission perhaps?
less thAn the spit...
cute.
Very sexual. Freud would have a nice time with this.
the language is good, but I think "initiated" is better toned down as "started". The rest works, imho.
"as calm as shock"
Honestly? I don't think this would be a good song...
You could have done better.
Blessed with three.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
15 Feb 2004, 11:27 PM
Interesting.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
16 Feb 2004, 12:05 AM
Haunting, eerie, beautiful.
When did you last read The Waste Land?
There's nothing like a good poem about insomnia. And this is nothing like one. Bomm and, indeed, boom, as Basil Brush might say.
wow I could have related to this poem about two years ago but then I grew up and found out that sliding a knive across your arms is not the best way to feel sorry for yourself but anyway good poem.
heard all this type of crap a million times before, can't you be more original?
cute
hmmmn.
good perspective nice grate
Thanks rockmage when people like what I wight it makes me want to wight more.
I like this one...nice Jod lol