xxx
on some deleted poem
14 Feb 2004, 9:36 AM
Perhaps if you worked on this a bit.
Some good imagery.
nice write
witty how it stops at the end
Makes me cold.
such clever critique you make for me. How's that working out for you?
such clever critique you make for me. How's that working out for you?
Thanks Yeah your right I didnt care if I spelled things wrong I just had to put my feelings on paper.
It's very good I think. Very good. Poems like this are a bit dense for my personal taste. I mean for reading.
When I do read it, I picture it more as a spoken piece. I think it would be great for that.
it was going great until that last stanza where the rhyming just got in the way
Does not quite gell.
What use is woman?
She leaked a brown in a policeman's Box.
Oh dear, no, indeed. The last time we tried that, they, they, they started hopping all about the place, dreadful thing. http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia
KAWAII!!!!!11111 ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
JAPANESE IS JUST LIKE ELVISH RUNES IT IS SO MAGICAL
fun..
fun..
fun..
Indeed. Imagine the day a nation filled with fat ignorant people born into more wealth and privelege than 99.9% of people who have ever lived stop whining about someone else getting a chance at life.
five seven then five
do you need an abucus?
I counted this thrice.
actually, you can play with the syllable count - I just like posting that when I get the chance.
;o)
Did you do it on purpose? If so, why not just stick the other syllable ("I") in there?
With "in som ni a" you are basically halfway there; that's a tough one.
Seriously, sort out the spelling.
Don't really see the stretched out legs (not in this context.
Some nice wordplay though - some/others/all