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Insomnia (Haiku) by dreamsdiefirst
Going for the sleep, Wish could beat this insomnia, While counting the sheep!

Up the ladder: Still
Down the ladder: Swollen Tongue

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Weighted score: 4.905148
Overall Rank: 9704
Posted: February 15, 2004 12:25 AM PST; Last modified: February 15, 2004 12:25 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 15-Feb-04/2:39 PM | Reply
five seven then five
do you need an abucus?
I counted this thrice.

actually, you can play with the syllable count - I just like posting that when I get the chance.

;o)

Did you do it on purpose? If so, why not just stick the other syllable ("I") in there?

With "in som ni a" you are basically halfway there; that's a tough one.
[n/a] dreamsdiefirst @ 24.4.154.237 > Shuushin | 15-Feb-04/11:22 PM | Reply
English is not my native language so I have been struggling with both vocabulay and syllable count. Do you suggest any resource so I can catch-up?
[n/a] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.51 > dreamsdiefirst | 16-Feb-04/6:37 AM | Reply
Well, that is a pickle. Probably the best way is to simply write alot and get feedback.

A dictionary will help, of course - www.dictionary.com, but even with that, some folks parse the syllable count differently anyway. ). Having a feel for how one word is pronounced it might be useful to see what words rhyme with it, so another good resource for you might be www.rhymezone.com (but don't rely on it!).

rather than counting syllables in your [haiku] strive for an economy of words - each having a purpose leading up to the final, cutting, word.

the articles (the, this), while helping your syllable count, don't add value toward the meaning.

oh - and haiku, in english anyway (if such a thing exists), don't usually rhyme. Not that I'm not a fan of those who walk a different path. Maybe something other than an endryhme -

*insomnia*

Sleep, a distant farm
crops of roosters fully ripe
flee before my sheep.
[n/a] dreamsdiefirst @ 162.119.64.111 > Shuushin | 17-Feb-04/10:29 AM | Reply
Thanks for the help. I wil be striving to make haiku rhyme while keeping 5-7-5 form.
[n/a] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.53 > dreamsdiefirst | 17-Feb-04/11:46 AM | Reply
ach - don't misunderstand me, please.

no rhyming -

and 5-7-5 is purely up to you. There is a long history of haiku that is worth researching, suffice to say, what most folks post as "haiku" - aint.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 | 16-Feb-04/7:08 AM | Reply
There's nothing like a good poem about insomnia. And this is nothing like one. Bomm and, indeed, boom, as Basil Brush might say.
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > Nicholas Jones | 16-Feb-04/7:10 PM | Reply
Thank you - now I know who basil brush is!
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