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The Prophetical Eye of Dreams (Free verse) by Don-Quixote
The strength of a childs' spirit, nourished with his fathers love and sempiternal compassion, shall overcome the darkness of malice-- imparted during the agony of subversion initiated with the sins of the mother. He shall awaken from illusion-- embracing the pillar of his heart he shall pass judgement upon himself and forgive his spirits' dismal rancor; ridding himself of guilt, melancholy, and regret. And with the dreamers sword he shall ravage his earthly thoughts, severing their bonds of wrought iron-- setting free the absolute chaos of his spirit to begin understanding the enigmas of man stemmed from the most fundamental of truths. "There is beauty in that which is the most foul; wickedness resides in that which pleases the naked eye-- There is no soul upon this earth whose eyes are open; they can not see my virtues or the glory of my strength."

Up the ladder: Lost
Down the ladder: Mi Pais

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.9525743
Overall Rank: 8886
Posted: February 15, 2004 4:37 PM PST; Last modified: February 15, 2004 4:37 PM PST
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[n/a] Don-Quixote @ | 15-Feb-04/4:40 PM | Reply
This is some quick scrawl that I wrote.. so no, it isn't something I put much effort into-- but I thought it might amuse or interest some.
[8] Shuushin @ | 15-Feb-04/5:52 PM | Reply
Very sexual. Freud would have a nice time with this.

the language is good, but I think "initiated" is better toned down as "started". The rest works, imho.
[n/a] Y2kSlamPoet @ > Shuushin | 15-Feb-04/6:59 PM | Reply
Sexual? Well that wasn't my intention.. how does it come off as sexual? Please explain, I'm oblivious to the poems sexuality.

Started doesn't sound right either.. I'll edit that line in the future to get a better idea of possible alternative ways to put it, but for now I'll leave it as is.
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