zodiac
on Puritans by zodiac
20 Mar 2004, 3:34 PM
Oh, and thanks, richa, for letting me try out your style. I couldn't work in any woodland animals, though. Or A#P#P#L#E#S.
I can't think of much to say about this. Probably because I'm currently pretty sloshed on Gin, Yuengling B&T, and gasoline fumes. And yet I find I lack the clarity and self-awareness to say, as you so presciently have, 'Gee I'm sure a drunk, drinking away items A, B, and C for reasons X, Y, and Z'. But then, I live in a huge cabin with a view of Cold Mountain, work twenty hours a week in a job that mostly involves checking poemranker at fifteen-minute intervals, and drink all day mainly because it makes checking poemranker and sex with my wife more fun. Why else would I do it? -10-
I just saw a bunch of stuff here I hadn't before. Talk about not seeing rhyme... And those weird in-between stanzas ("They break from the sea...") just get me somehow. I'd still consider next time watching out for similar grammatical constructions. -10-
Mothers day today - Happy Birthday? Alzheimers - a connection.
Needs better research. I am not believing the murder thingy
Are you sure you didn't see yourself, someone should fuck your shit up for writing this.
Hi! I have given this poeme the following code: 20D6B001
Why not decode it at http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/medio
Mediocrity code: 20841404
-6-
Mediocrity code: 21580481
-8-
30D0B0A1
-11-
Meaning aside - which is fine, the flow of this is a few extra words past something that I might like very much.
It has a musical flow to it that I often strive for.
But I'm not thrilled with some of the simple descriptors and imagery - while the cadence is melodic, the language is uncomfortable.
Does that make sense?
windy warm
formidable
long and tenderly - could do without those, in particular.
I was thinking this could make a good ghazal.
what is this a glosa _of_?
Unoriginal.
You should reneame this "Reflections of a College Freshman".
The best part is the 'surprise' at the end, when you realise it's not real, it's just a dream.
The ending of this just doesn't make sense. And congratulations on the first poetic use of the word 'bopped' by a caucasian.
Nice thesis 5.
Overall, I can't really concur because
you said absolutely squat.
But I gave you a 5, because you're my nigger Joe.