Shuushin
on some deleted poem
2 May 2004, 7:32 PM
Nice one.
the justin cress theme is a little redundant
Very good, especially the last line. some will argue that it's not a ghazal, but I don't care, the thing resonates with me.
excellente.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 May 2004, 9:32 AM
What happened to your other recent poem, the one I said was absolutely profound? You're not playing with my head again are you?
No matter, this poem is beautifully spring and feminine.
a dificult word to use, i like it
may fit better as a pimple, despite its acrosticness (word?)
very cute. I like the thought of both falling in love at the same time. :)
"Yet her motives are strong" is terrible cop-talk.
"...Nor was the sixteenth-century sodomite a homosexual. In 1631, Mervyn Touchet, Earl of Castlehaven, was tried and executed for sodomy. It is clear from the proceedings that the earl was not understood by himself or anyone else to be a particular kind of sexual individual. ... The earl did not slip into his tightest doublet and waltz down to the nearest gay tavern to mingle with his fellow sodomists. He stayed in the manor house and buggered his servants. Gay self-awareness, gay pubs, the sense of group commonality, and even the term homosexual were not part of the earl's universe."
- Gayle Rubin, Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 May 2004, 4:22 PM
Good foreshadowing with "underestimating." A tale so unlikey it must be sadly true.
Funny, because I wasn't there. Still, I remember the thunderstorms of a Tennessee summer evening.
Oh no I've gone cross-eyed!!!!
Paying $25 to slosh around in the mud and rain and the only thing that you get to see is Jerry Lee Lewis perform "Great Balls of Fire". Now that's absurd.
This seems to be a statement on anorexia nervosa, no?
I don't much care for the month of May, myself (except for the fifteenth...oh, and the twenty-third, those days are, ok). Good one.
(Journey) Ha! What beautiful irony.
You swim so fluidly through the murky waters of your past. My past, not so murky, not clear either.
Stanza four is quite lovely.
Not loving the brain/slain rhyme.
The acrostic"ness" is extremely smooth however, so ju get a tenspot from me.