| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Jan-03/3:23 PM |
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Nice first stanza, but I just do not think to overall product holds together. And what is an 8 cup?
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| Re: Unpleasant Morning by liljsmith87 |
28-Jan-03/3:25 PM |
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| Re: Cover song by bondjedi |
28-Jan-03/3:26 PM |
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How exacty is this a haiku?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Jan-03/3:30 PM |
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Wow, great overuse of the common adjective. Great use of trite thematic structure. Fantastic implementation of the cliche. Wonderfully banal. Keep up the good work.
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| Re: A Day, Wasted by Joyleaf |
28-Jan-03/3:36 PM |
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Great use of the "statement". Fantastic use of telling rather than showing. Great use of "Party" three times in less than 40 lines, dude.
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| Re: Breaking Away by wickedemon4 |
28-Jan-03/10:04 PM |
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Best biking movie ever made, although if you notice when he it topping 50 plus MPH behind the semi he is in his small chain ring. But, hey, it is a movie. It is sad you titled such a bad poem for such a great sports movie. Shame on you.
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| Re: A Puzzling Girl by Imperfections |
28-Jan-03/10:11 PM |
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A nice concept but I think the overall effort need more thought.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Jan-03/10:14 PM |
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Why did you put this propaganda here? This is a poetry site.
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| Re: Guilt by Freethinker1602 |
28-Jan-03/10:17 PM |
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You reached really deep into the crap bin for this one, huh?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Jan-03/10:20 PM |
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Wow, it is like dyslexic jungle fever.
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| Re: amanda by famenglory |
28-Jan-03/10:50 PM |
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| Re: missing time by Bill Z Bub |
28-Jan-03/11:30 PM |
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The flip flopping of voice and context is awkward. There a a few nice lines, but there is still work to be done here.
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| Re: Dr. Skellington by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
28-Jan-03/11:33 PM |
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You are the one true king of the Masonic order of odd balls.
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| Re: The Thought Of It by Christof |
28-Jan-03/11:39 PM |
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Still the best poem on the site. I would kill the all cap thing, but damn, who cares, this is just good. Had to come read it again.
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| Re: Love by NinjaPoet |
29-Jan-03/10:52 PM |
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The title of the film should be in quotations not apostrophes. That is unless you put quotations around what the character on the answering machine is saying, which would be proper and justify what your are doing at that point. Is "Weneverlaughedsohard" (note proper use) a word. I looked it up and it was not in the dictionary.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Jan-03/11:04 PM |
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This poem drools with sentiment that lacks thought beyond intended greeting card mentality. Maybe you should actually trying think about the poems you write instead of driveling all of the time. Send this to any competent magazine in the world, and tell me I am wrong for saying these things. You can tell you read and wedding and funerals. That is about the gist of the depth here. But, hey, the sentiment is nice.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Jan-03/11:11 PM |
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Exceptionally weak use of adjectives. You even use "warm" twice.
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| Re: a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub |
29-Jan-03/11:19 PM |
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din't - is this a new word or a typo? The last part sounds like you could rap it. Are you one of those hard hittn' street poete's?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Jan-03/11:23 PM |
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Great use of cliche. Great use of no punctuation and lower case words. Great use of an uninteresting and overdone topic in the same uninteresting and overdone way as everyone else that writes pimple poems. Keep up the good work!!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Jan-03/11:51 AM |
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Still in the exercise process? Let's hope so. Odd phrasings, awkward rythms, and weak wording in places. But that is what being a hard hittin' street poete is all about.
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