Re: If God Was a Nihilist by baughworm	18-Feb-05/11:32 PM
This poem is simply astonishing.
Re: a comment on a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove	18-Feb-05/11:31 PM
Okay. 1) Change the title. If you absolutely refuse to change it, at least capitalize it. 2) "amongst" is misused. If you have to use it, change "beauty" to "beauties" 3) By the time you get to "Reach to the sun" I've already forgotten what the subject of this sentence is. Of course, I know the subject of "reach" is really stem and petals, so what the hell happened to the flower? What you have is essetially equivalent to the following flummox: A dog, named for some reason Frugal, its nose and tongue, red and wet, touch snuffingly on its own ass, etc etc etc. If you can't see why this sentence isn't poetry, there's no help for you. 5) None of this, from the obliviously dancing flower to the reaching to welcome the sun is AT ALL original. In fact, it's all been expressed about a million times before in almost exactly the same words, only better punctuated. In fact, writing about flowers is simply a bad idea. 6) "understatement in every sense of the word" is preposterous. How many senses does "understatement" have. I can think of two at least, which is probably more than you can think of. 7) The rhetorical "Does one compare a mountain to an ant hill" parts have to go. For one thing: Yes, one does. A mountain is bigger, and generally less anty. 8) Spawn is misused. 9) Congratulations on using the word "crippled". I know that's not a criticism. 10) Why don't you punctuate a little? Break it up some? 11) I still haven't found a non-overused image besides crippled, and I'm almost done. 12) In short, Q: How many Shakespearey type poems have you read? Q2: Do you like them? Q3: What's your favorite pre-1800 poem? Mine's the part in the Miller's Tale that goes Derk was the nyght as pich, or as a cole, And at the wyndow out she putte hir hole, And Absolon, hym fil no bet ne wers, But with his mouth he kiste hir naked ers Ful savorly, er he were war of this. Abak he stirte, and thoughte it was amys, For wel he wiste a womman hath no berd. He felte a thyng al rough and long yherd, And seyde, "Fy! allas! what have I do?" "Tehee!" quod she, and clapte the wyndow to, And Absolon gooth forth a sory pas. "A berd! a berd!" quod hende Nicholas, "By Goddes corpus, this goth faire and weel."
Re: a comment on If God Was a Nihilist by baughworm	18-Feb-05/11:12 PM
Hey, great answer! Considering that same addled notion is the basis for about all your poetry.
Re: Summing Up by Dovina	18-Feb-05/11:04 PM
Delete the last stanza.
Re: a comment on A Sinner’s Prayer by Dovina	18-Feb-05/10:16 PM
Q1: Of course I know. He does, but doesn't much care, being proven (by Saint Augustine, natch) to prefer rhyming poems. Q2: Ibid. So stop acting like you're writing poems for God's consideration only. And then stop making so many fucking errors of judgment and logic and then when we point them out saying, fuck you God understands and he's the only one I'm worried about so there. Just stop. Stop, please. Q3: Take my word for it. You are. There is no question 5. Your question 5 is the question of question 4. The answer is of course you aren't, George Bush being proven to like rhyming poems about cowboys, but you might want to consider backing off your Bushian neoconservative irrationalist stance (which I'm convinced you've had to take simply out of some bent drive to contradict us at whatever cost). If there isn't already a law against you in California, there probably will be soon.
Re: a comment on Garage sale by INTRANSIT	18-Feb-05/10:02 PM
As you're a nonfeminist, I don't think you're qualified to answer that question. PS-Here's one you can: Would you say a nonfeminist is a sexist?
Re: a comment on The Man I Love by Dovina	18-Feb-05/9:54 PM
PS- You might have stopped this whole trumpfest in the beginning by stating the obvious: black people are not diverse from each other.
Re: a comment on The Man I Love by Dovina	18-Feb-05/9:51 PM
He means, the following conversation cannot exist except under the most bumbling of circumstances: -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.: I don't like Polynesians. Dovina: Racist. -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.: I was being ironic. Dovina: Oh. So was I. Irony means the person perpetrating it knows some truth different from the one he's asserting (note: correct usage). You didn't, and still don't.
Re: No Name by hatedestruction	17-Feb-05/4:51 AM
Has anyone but you bothered to read or listen to this all the way to the end? -10-
Re: ~RePOST~Cupid's Arrow <----<< by nothingtoanyone	17-Feb-05/4:49 AM
Complete the following sentences: 1) Old Shakespeary kinds of poems are _______________ 2) I have read ___ Shakespeary poems.
Re: Little Fly by PodPoet	17-Feb-05/4:41 AM
Dear Christ. So my wife works in this town called Ghwor, on the site of Sodom and Gomorrah in modern-day Jordan, and says the flies there are so nuts it's worse than Somalian starving baby footage, but what do you expect, most of the townfolk (10% born disabled) squat over a hole in the kitchen floor to go to the bathroom? So anyway, last week they all got Typhoid there, I mean like all of them, and Jesus Christ - Typhoid! Like I didn't even know that disease existed anymore. Anyway I just wanted to tell you I'm with -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I., flies are exactly what we need more of here, and a great way to capture the image of a kinda humming, eyeitching, omnipresent love sent from above. You get my only heartfelt 10 of the day. Enjoy!
Re: Lent Begins by jessicazee	17-Feb-05/4:34 AM
This was better before.
Re: a comment on The Man I Love by Dovina	17-Feb-05/4:29 AM
You're finally in those flattering shoes. No, wait, that's just some random assumption and about as groundless as your aboveposted comment.
Re: a comment on The Man I Love by Dovina	17-Feb-05/4:27 AM
LOL. al-naafiysh is black. Does she have to marry a Chinaman?
Re: A Sinner’s Prayer by Dovina	17-Feb-05/4:24 AM
Q: Do you think God reads your poems? Q2: Do you think God pays more attention to your poems than he does to, say, the Sri Lankan praying 'O God please whatever you do don't send a tidal wave anytime soon, see I just bought this new car and it's a Hyundai with leather interior standard etc etc etc'? Q3: You're a Christian. I know this isn't a question. If you just admitted you were a Christian, you'd be happier maybe, but probably not. Q4: Dear me, your 8 months on poemranker have put you on the side of - preaching - didacticism - illogics forcibly repeated in the face of uncomfortable reason - telling not showing - flagrant cronyism - affirmative action - racists - misspelling - more illogic - and God. Are you George W. Bush?
Re: a comment on The Man I Love by Dovina	15-Feb-05/9:40 PM
I doubt it anyone would be able to understand it. "Maybe they just don’t have any love in their lives" is great considering I'm more than averagely happily married and you're writing poems about watching couples have sex on frontseats and dating the Gilette Man.
Re: a comment on Prayer of Forgiveness by Dovina	15-Feb-05/9:29 PM
Why are you affecting an accent?
Re: a comment on 32 Truths and 1 Lie by wilco	15-Feb-05/9:26 PM
"I believe that the world is flat" is true, provided wilco actually believes it. Considering he went through the effort of writing this poem, the least we can do is give him the benefit of the doubt on that one.
Re: a comment on Goodbye by Dovina	13-Feb-05/3:34 AM
If you are (leaving poemranker), I'd like you to consider not. Instead, you might try changing your idea that several poemranker users personally hate you (the thought never crossed my mind, for one,) and instead focusing on the things we've been pointing out from the beginning: namely, that your poetry often contains huge logical gaps, has practically no poetic elements, and takes a didactic tone that several users I know, including myself, find more than a little abrasive and arrogant. This IS a poetry comment and criticism site, you know.
Re: Goodbye by Dovina	13-Feb-05/3:29 AM
Are you leaving California or poemranker?