It's interesting enough to get a 7, but it's without the point of intensity, I think, underlying this beautiful subject. Is it about a (forgive this term) Conversation with God.
I created a more juvenile counterpart to this poem a few ago titled " An intolerable rash brother". I too have my bones to pick with the great "You". So I've canvased the world.
Vote on the poem I mentioned o' mine, comment on it, drain it of extraneous blabbery, pick it asunder, and get back to me. I want and value your opinion.
I read your poem and left a comment. Frankly, I would not have known it was about God if you hadn't commented here as you did.
Mine is, as you suspect, a conversation with God, or rather a prayer to God. It's low key in order to keep the tone of ordinary prayer, an understatemint.
Reminds me of...oh, whats that thing from church...about forgiving those who trespass....I don;t know....been a long time. Anyway, I think that this was a "I need something to post poem (sorry, not trying to be mean). I just know what you're capable of and I expect more. You know I got much love for ya. ;)
Oh, whatâs that thing from churchâ¦about âForgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us?â Well, I feel rather sinned against, what with all the dyinâ and killinâ and nobody who could stop it, stoppinâ it. Iâm Just tryinâ to forgive that person, thatâs all. I donât expect many folks to see it that way, especially those like you who donât pay much attention to church. Itâs just the way I feel about it. Of course there are those who think that because I feel a certain way about something that Iâm being arrogant and abrasive as if I wanted everybody to think as I do. But I donât because then theyâd be as messed-up as I am, and besides, what fun is it to have everybody agree with me, nobody to argue with, nobody to tell me Iâm arrogant, illogical and didactic? I got much love ya, too. Not because I agree with ya, or you with me very often though. And I like your 6 better than if it were a 10. Itâs just because talkinâ works with some folks, and with others itâs a waste of time.
I completely understand the point of the poem and actually agree with the basis. In fact, though, I think we agree more often than not...maybe just not on religious matters. Also, I was drunk last night and not in the best of moods.
Actually I understand some of this comment a little more after reading the comments on "Goodbye". I don't think that you're arrogant and abrasive. You've got your ideas and thats what you write about. Everyone does it. You know as well as I do that people on The Ranker just like to pick at people to see how far they can push them (Bully Poets...there's an odd thing). It's actually funny because if they spent half as much time writintg as they did being assholes, this would be a better place. That's not going to happen though. For some reason they've pretty much stopped with me...either because I've gotten better at writing or because I'm just no fun to taunt because I dont care...I suspect the latter ;). I saw one kid even wrote a poem about you...and it wasn't crass and ignorant..amazed me but you gotta love that. The point is, there's good and there's bad and it's all what makes the poemeranker the best of it's kind.
P.S.-I know you already know all this and I don'y mean to preach to the choir.
13 comments
I created a more juvenile counterpart to this poem a few ago titled " An intolerable rash brother". I too have my bones to pick with the great "You". So I've canvased the world.
Vote on the poem I mentioned o' mine, comment on it, drain it of extraneous blabbery, pick it asunder, and get back to me. I want and value your opinion.
Gracias, bonita
Mine is, as you suspect, a conversation with God, or rather a prayer to God. It's low key in order to keep the tone of ordinary prayer, an understatemint.
It is a prayer!
P.S.-I know you already know all this and I don'y mean to preach to the choir.
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