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caught amist (Villanelle) by LaasChijld
caught amist I wondered of into the mist, freezing in hale gives chill cooled it down with a hiss. walking circles in the abyss Brought me down, tired until I wondered off into the mist. I flicked and gave it a twist, Took a breath & stayed still cooled it down with a hiss. Loaded it up, put in my fist Then against lips to fulfill, I wondered off into the mist. filled to the brim to assist, A flick, with a hit to kill cooled it down with a hiss. Illness calls I cannot resist A Kiss to momentarily to feel I wondered off into the mist cooled it down with a hiss.

Up the ladder: The Intellect Repeats

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.6666665
Weighted score: 5.4482355
Overall Rank: 2963
Posted: February 11, 2006 2:13 PM PST; Last modified: February 11, 2006 11:43 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] zodiac @ 66.230.117.3 | 12-Feb-06/12:49 PM | Reply
You mean "wandered". Like, "I wandered lonely as a cloud".
[7] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 13-Feb-06/4:33 PM | Reply
Second line of the last stanza doesn't make sense, a couple of spelling errors but other than that a very respectable effort.
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