Replying to a comment on:

caught amist (Villanelle) by LaasChijld

caught amist I wondered of into the mist, freezing in hale gives chill cooled it down with a hiss. walking circles in the abyss Brought me down, tired until I wondered off into the mist. I flicked and gave it a twist, Took a breath & stayed still cooled it down with a hiss. Loaded it up, put in my fist Then against lips to fulfill, I wondered off into the mist. filled to the brim to assist, A flick, with a hit to kill cooled it down with a hiss. Illness calls I cannot resist A Kiss to momentarily to feel I wondered off into the mist cooled it down with a hiss.

Ranger 13-Feb-06/4:33 PM
Second line of the last stanza doesn't make sense, a couple of spelling errors but other than that a very respectable effort.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001