regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jan-04/2:48 PM
I see.
Re: Mermaid by lastobelus	11-Jan-04/2:52 PM
Wow--who are you? And do you know they'll never let you publish stuff like this? The internet's the only place you can find good rhymes now. They *gestures OUT THERE* think we're crazy.
Re: Da Ghetto by <{Baba^Yaga}>	11-Jan-04/2:59 PM
This is wack. Good, yeah. And pretty true. But wack subject matter. Sorry to sound so prudish. I really am. The sorry college-educated PC part of me wants to say you should badmouth white people a little too to even it out. Or if it's supposed to be ironic ('please mr. man') then make it more obvious. The rest of me says screw it, it's the internet. Let your free flag fly. Like I said, it's pretty true.
Re: A dream of a fruit-gun by zodiac	11-Jan-04/7:41 PM
to INTRANSIT: No offense intended?
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-04/8:55 AM
I don't know how - somehow it says something. We must have be on some kind of similar free-associative wavelength. It's got a structure that's right on the tip of my tongue. Normally I'd say the trickery with the punctuation (especially the periods and lack thereof in the first stanza) is artsy and unnecessary, but not when you do it. Really. Serendipity, maybe. Or pure science. 'Comrade' is borderline over-poetic.
Re: (Come find me) by zodiac	17-Jan-04/6:50 PM
I thought everyone would get this. It's about wanting to be 'found' as a writer. And maybe it's all the Whitman I had to read last week, but now I'm thinking, screw 'em. When we're ready (and by we, I definitely include the present company of fellow fungi -) when we spring to the surface like mushrooms, fully formed, we're going to mop the earth with them. Just watch.
Re: O Endless Angst, Thou Stingeth Me by Goad	18-Jan-04/5:44 AM
I like this except for the title, which doesn't have much to do with the poem anyway (at least not as I read it.) I googled (and poetry anthologied) "endless angst" and "stingest" to see if it was a reference to something and only came up with cheesy teenage weblogs. And I'm confused about the lizards. But I agree with everyone who says the last three lines are amazing.
Re: Jennifer Entire by Goad	18-Jan-04/6:03 PM
I like this better than the other one, the winter one. Actually, I like it quite a bit. The "her skirted knees" line is especially good. Also "history is unneeded details that history of / a one apart watching that one part / missing" is clever and not too poetish. And "I know you, etc." for the end. In fact, I don't think the last stanza (after the break) is necessary. It's stronger ending at the ellipses without the ocean image - very capital-R Romantic and anticlimactic. Also, punctuation: continuously abnormal or missing punctuation is nothing new or useful or particularly well-liked in poetry. Look at your favorite writers (unless you're some e.e.cummings holdout or something) and you'll see they all use more-or-less normal sentence punctuation. So you're bold and different. I can promise you: no one's going to appreciate it - sadly. They'll hold it against you. A lot like this. It'll hurt you (like this) and make you feel that they've missed the bigger picture (like this.) Is that what you want? You have a good sound a lot of the time - mostly when you're not slipping into fake Keats-n-Shelley diction and imagery, like the 'bowers' in the other poem. I'd like to see you play around with your voice some. Maybe write fewer big-P 'Poems' and more - I don't know, 'stuff.' Remember Wordsworth: 'incidents and situations from common life... in a selection of language REALLY used by men...' I don't think he always succeeded, but it's what I still aim for every time. Good luck - I mean it, from a former fellow-capital-R Romantic.
Re: sex in the city/sex in the country by tralala42001	18-Jan-04/8:46 PM
Son of dad is the only good part. Do you mind if I steal it for a garage-band name?
Re: Tide Pool by middenHeap	18-Jan-04/9:14 PM
God, it seems like all I've done is complain about posts today. It's not that. It's just that it's easier but maybe not better to get the compliments out of the way and get to the suggestions. So - it's good. I just got hung up on 'till instead of until and the word 'thing' in the end. Anything but thing and you could be Elizabeth Bishop and a bag of chips.
Re: Tide Pool by middenHeap	19-Jan-04/9:19 AM
Goad - are you actually everybody posting on this site? There are better non-specific words for thing. More descriptive. It's just jarring.
Re: Tide Pool by middenHeap	19-Jan-04/10:42 AM
THING n.: creature, critter, varmint, blossom, organism, monster, monstrosity, shape, mollusk, structure, octopod, myriapod, phyllopod, shell, bivalave, body, brute.
Re: sea of pearls by crwncka1	20-Jan-04/8:11 AM
1.) Don't end every line with a comma; it not grammatical (most heinous: "separate, desire") 2.) Capitalize and punctuate like real sentences; or is this meant to be one Dickensian sentence? 3.) Break up the lines by some other basis than a pause or the end of a clause; continuous, homogenous long lines are hard to read and not really poetic. Instead, use line breaks to isolate bits of phrases that can - I don't know - stand alone, words or short phrases that have significance (or even shock value) when you see them alone on a line. Okay, now you have something that at least looks like a poem without having had to sacrifice your precious artistic vision. 4.) Get an artistic vision, or at least know that any mention of seas flowing, swan songs, burning torches, plays being directed, dark tunnels, or clear jewels will be met with extreme scepticism by most of your readers. Handle them originally. Maybe make the sea not flow, for once, or at least flow somewhere besides the direction taken by your average '80's pop song. 4.5) Besides, I can't even tell what you're talking about (probably that you like some girl/boy/thing/ocean,) or who you are (again, a boy, girl, jeweler, or marine biologist?) 5.) Read some of the poems on this site before you decide you're too intelligent for these lamers. Sorry you had to hear this from me, but I might be the only one here who'll take you seriously enough to reply. You're welcome to go bash my poem. Tchuss!
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Jan-04/8:17 AM
Very good. I like it better ending on "we agreed" or even "libraries." The last line goes without saying.
Re: Crystal Lane Swift? Today is your crucifixion. by DreamerSupreme	20-Jan-04/2:23 PM
This is too confusing. I've decided to become one of Goad's nicks (which I pronounce a little like gonad, actually,) to save myself/himself/ourself the trouble of building a costly alliance of my/his/our own fake supporters. Don't worry: there'll still be oh-so-witty limerick arguments, as well as the added advantage of being able to post a poem every 4.8 hours instead of every 8. But I'm/he's/we're afraid none of you other nick-alliances will be able to stop me/him/us in my/his/our quest for complete poemranker monopoly! Bwah-hah and other intimidating sounds.
Re: Last Night by middenHeap	20-Jan-04/2:31 PM
van Gogh doesn't work as well in this one.
Re: Scarlet Wyvern by SupremeDreamer	20-Jan-04/2:34 PM
flying reptile (pinkish or darker).
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Jan-04/5:41 PM
I'm alright with the inversion. Kinda sexy.
Re: Flame Game by Goad	20-Jan-04/8:29 PM
I like the hips part. Never heard talk about hips like that.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Jan-04/8:21 AM
Um, all those anonymous 10 votes are the same person, right? I mean, they're you - the author. I know I'm new to the ranker and everything - so could someone explain something to me? Why would someone submit something here, ostensibly to open it up to the criticism and commentary of the world (which any good poem needs, especially if you're William Blake,) and then jack up its score like that? Do you login and say, oh look - a lot of people sure like my poem; it must be pretty good? Do you actually fool yourself with that? Or have you posted this only for OUR benefit, since you (times 10 anonymous votes) know it's in its perfect form already? The 16 tens this pretty unoriginal crap got is your way of letting us know how great we should think you are? Whatever gets you off, I guess. Have fun with your invisible coterie of imaginary followers. Oh, and this -http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=79164 - is for you.