regarding some deleted poem...	18-Apr-04/6:50 AM
Igao walang kang diti, anak ka nang puta.
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Apr-04/6:59 AM
"has become" should be "becomes"; that sentence is already complicated enough without the presentperfect or whatever it's called. I like the pause in "blusher, or play," but a comma isn't the way to do it. I think it should be a dash or line-break. And do you think puffer-fish and trout hold together?
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Apr-04/7:03 AM
;
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Apr-04/4:19 PM
Above/loves. Suggested revise: "She sucks me, fucks me, leaves me there, In a harness as she fists (or gloves) me."
Re: Love Under Will by Tyriana	18-Apr-04/5:00 PM
My god. Zero. Terribly, earnestly zero. God, I do hate running across these witchy 'chaunts' here. "A new-forged ring," indeed. After reading this one, I find my ring enlarged by a magickal factor of 6.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Apr-04/5:14 AM
Ace. But CLS's bum is as bony as a paint nag's and hard as the Rector's hornbook. You can tell from her pictures.
Re: stranger by francis nor capule	19-Apr-04/7:12 AM
Hi. You have no idea how a semicolon works, do you?
Re: LOVE-ABOVE LISTE by Everyone	19-Apr-04/10:15 AM
These should be broken into the following categories: -'...knowing you're an angel up above.' -'...you're like an angel up above.' -'...blessed by/sent by the Lord above.' -[other objects above.] -[doesn't make any goddamn sense.]
Re: From Treehouse To Factory by Shardik	19-Apr-04/12:16 PM
Hey, remember all those nights when I was laying your kid sister and you were down in the bottom bunk and you didn't say anything about it or go tell your folks - were you jerking off to us then? God! That's terrible! I mean, it was your ten-year-old sister, for Christ's sake! Shame! Shame!
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Apr-04/12:17 PM
I don't think you lay the blame 'to' something. You might lay it *on*, or *assign* it to something. Other than that, good.
Re: untitled by waxtester	19-Apr-04/2:00 PM
Please post the poem that begins "The gothic clocks struck their tolls" next.
Re: pondering by xunitedx	19-Apr-04/2:05 PM
everything just makes it worse / you’ll never hear me yell "it’s like my life is one big curse"
Re: From Treehouse To Factory by Shardik	19-Apr-04/2:24 PM
The last line would be better "We all went home having learned nothing." Maybe that's what you meant. This is one of your best, anyway.
Re: innocent voyeur by nentwined	19-Apr-04/5:52 PM
The (current) last line seems fine to me.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Apr-04/5:53 PM
I do love your username. This poem kind of sucks though.
Re: questions by ggawrysi	20-Apr-04/4:19 AM
We know how: Professor Plum with the candlestick.
Re: #20 by mikejedw	20-Apr-04/6:32 AM
I would beware that 1) your first line [perhaps unconsciously] sounds like Carl Sandburg's superfamoso "Fog", and 2) it doesn't make any sense to crawl on one's feet.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Apr-04/9:35 AM
berkley => berkeley.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Apr-04/10:24 AM
I declare this the pimpliest sonnet ever. Thank you.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Apr-04/5:42 PM
I feel obliged to inform you that the most recent of Blender's Worst-of lists names Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City [on Rock & Roll]" the worst song ever.