regarding some deleted poem...	25-Apr-04/2:22 PM
Hey, welcome to our time! A few rules: 1) If you meet your true love here, you cannot take him/her back to your own century without disastrous effects on the space-time continuum or some ironic ending where you discover you're really your own great-great-great-grandfather/ mother. 2) You may gaze awhile upon our wondrous gyromobiles and electozappers, but, again, please do not attempt to take them back with you in order to dominate the earth, which will inevitably result in said space-time disruptions. 3) You must express surprise and unfamiliarity at everything, even objects/actions which had equivalents in your own century, such as forks and relieving yourself. 4) You should have no understanding of modern irony, despite that your time was much more ironic than ours; your long, dry jokes shouldn't make sense to us. 5) When the aforementioned true love is kidnapped/otherwise in danger, you must rescue him/ her using A. a horse and B. your old-fashioned know-how. 6) You must quickly befriend a scientist, who will be the only one who knows exactly when and where the time-portal will appear again. How he knows this is not important. 7) You must after a series of wacky adventures return to your own century. It will be sad, but the best thing for all of us. If you comply with these rules, you should have an enjoyable time here (pun intended) and maybe teach us a thing or two about ourselves. Thank you, and Godspeed, sirrah!
Re: Of Gods & Beast In Villanelle by Bachus	26-Apr-04/7:54 PM
Ace.
Re: Lose That Too ! by recherche	27-Apr-04/7:16 AM
Since everyone is so all about this poem, I've decided to post a list of things in it that just don't make any goddamn sense, in no particular order except that they irk me. 1) The thing with the spaces before the punctuation. 2) Breezes as they wail is stupid and just for the rhyme. What in god's name are wailing breezes doing in a pastoral, um, pasture, anyway? When, in a fit of boredom, I rewrote this poem to be about pants, I changed dale to dell and wail to smell. I liked it much better. 3) 'Nighttime as they wane' - also just for rhyme and meter. 4) 'daffolds' is not a word. 5) Marigolds wouldn't be 'Sweet with daffolds' anyway. 6) 'gaze of night' 7) The last two lines are a semantic train-wreck. Why didn't you just say "I'm sure I'd lose that too !" Oh, wait, because that would only change the triteness and nonsense level of this poem by .0001 percent.
Re: Herman by richa	27-Apr-04/8:19 AM
Punctuate after honeypot.
Re: Detroit by <{Baba^Yaga}>	27-Apr-04/12:23 PM
Do you think Detroit is more, or less, evil that L.A.? Other submissions will be accepted, especially if they are Atlanta or Miami.
Re: It's A Long Way From Heaven by Blindpoetry	27-Apr-04/5:35 PM
"Colliding against my will of misfortune" is the main bad part. The rest is okay.
Re: Under Trees by Caducus	27-Apr-04/5:40 PM
What an amazing selection of nude poems we have today. "the dryness of a brown circling tomb" is especially nice.
Re: The bearded space merchant from lil Idaho by Don-Quixote	28-Apr-04/5:29 AM
"During many of their sexual encounters, the NEGRO stood leaning against the doorway of the bathroom across from the study, which, he told Ms. LOUISA, eased his sore back... Ms. LOUISA testified that her physical relationship with the NEGRO included oral sex but not sexual intercourse. According to Ms. LOUISA, she performed oral sex on the NEGRO; he never performed oral sex on her. Initially, according to Ms. LOUISA, the NEGRO would not let her perform oral sex to completion. In Ms. LOUISA's understanding, his refusal was related to "trust and not knowing me well enough." During their last two sexual encounters, both in 1997, he did ejaculate. According to Ms. LOUISA, she performed oral sex on the NEGRO on nine occasions. On all nine of those occasions, the NEGRO fondled and kissed her bare breasts. He touched her genitals, both through her underwear and directly, bringing her to orgasm on two occasions. On one occasion, the NEGRO inserted a cigar into her vagina. On another occasion, she and the NEGRO had brief genital-to-genital contact."
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Apr-04/1:32 PM
Some of this is really nice. The rhythm, though, is so almost-regular it really hits you where it's not.
Re: The Air That Escapes His Lungs. by cleverdevice	28-Apr-04/6:08 PM
When you write these poems, do you give any consideration to how they work in real-life, or is it all about the allegory? To wit: "The air that escapes his lungs shall not return," - The truth is that it probably will sooner or later, especially if he's in some kind of phone or porn-viewing booth. I just think it would help for you to keep that kind of thing in mind, is all. You know, write poems about things that could actually happen. -Feeling Helpful in Waukeegan
Re: Heat by Shardik	28-Apr-04/6:13 PM
One minute after dozing, I thought that I was a-blazing, My blood it was a-boiling, It was amazing.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Apr-04/6:19 PM
Conspicuously missing: - Fear of Garbage, - Hypatia, - S-D, - Shuushin, - Caducus, - Joe-joe, - Blindpoetry, - richa - tpbod. Come on people! Fraser - Will there eventually be categories? I respectfully request to not be included with the gays or prepubescents. Thank you.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Apr-04/6:57 AM
"the workings and the wishings" is a bit of a problem. It could be "workings and wishings," or "workings, wishings [no comma here]" - actually, there shouldn't be a comma after wishings anyway. And "flushed, red," should be "flushed red," I think. Otherwise, this aroused me far more than Fraser's fisting gif did. Advantage: <~>
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Apr-04/4:50 PM
Sometimes when I read one of your poems, CLS, I imagine you thinking of something pretty mundane, like "I don't know what will happen," and then through a combination of ridiculous aerial convolutions, multiple BabelFish iterations, and Shift+F7 abuse mutating it into "the impacts remain to be defined," because that's more poetic, after all. Those are the good days. The bad days I imagine you actually speaking like this, a thought which never fails, even in public, to render me suddenly impossibly incontinent, prone to childish tears, and oddly desperate for my mother's left dug. This isn't even thesaurophilic, but rather a hopelessly brown example of a 100-word use vocabulary using the wrong word at every opportunity. If you never speak/type the words 'that which' again, you'll be doing yourself an enormous favor. -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Apr-04/4:51 PM
Is there such thing as a non-boring sonnet? Yes, observe: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=99447
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Apr-04/9:34 PM
Catacombs doesn't fit. But you're getting better.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Apr-04/11:48 AM
Some parts of this are rather good. The only things that really bother me are the title, some bad punctuation problems, and a few word choices. Mostly the title. Still, I don't mean to sound like it's not pretty nice writing in several places. It is.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Apr-04/11:53 AM
This is one of the good ones. I'm sorry for giving you hell earlier. Really.
Re: Hurt by Cougarchic	1-May-04/8:18 AM
Do you think Johnny Cash singing a cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt" is the funniest thing ever, or the coolest thing ever? - Genuinely Interested in Des Moines
regarding some deleted poem...	2-May-04/3:37 PM
"Yet her motives are strong" is terrible cop-talk.