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The bearded space merchant from lil Idaho (Free verse) by Don-Quixote
There used to be a crazy ole bearded grunt who'd sit at the bus stop takin deep drags off his hand-rolled tobacco, picked from the dry dust fields of little Idaho. He'd stay there as if he found complete and total peace- rain, wind, hail, or snow couldn't cause him discomfort, secure in his little piece of Eden. I loved to talk with him- actually, I preferred listening. He would tell me how he traveled in a mental space rocket and conducted trade on a planet of highly evolved reptilian raptors. He offered to take me there for the bargain price of six hundred greenbacks up front and four after taking me home. I know what you're thinking; its a scam, an imaginative one. But I swear folks, he was serious insisting he didn't think in words but in stars and space dust which was how he bent time and space with his lowly grey matter. A common drunk seemed sober compared to how this ole mans gears turned without any medication legal or otherwise- he only indulged in tar stained, toothpick sized Idaho cigarettes. Now there remains just the smooth outline of where he once sat I've come to conclude that he sat there waiting for his mental rocket and somehow his ride finally arrived; he's probably bargaining prices with raptors on his favorite reptilian planet. I couldn't go with him not even if I wanted to; we were simple men of opposing dimensions.

Up the ladder: Rock of the Earth
Down the ladder: Slim and Pretty, Or Not

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7710
Posted: April 28, 2004 2:02 AM PDT; Last modified: April 28, 2004 2:02 AM PDT
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Comments:
[6] cleverdevice @ 212.219.142.161 | 28-Apr-04/2:58 AM | Reply
Nice idea, a little weaker towards the end, too much sentimentality for my taste, but a wonderful idea.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.161.176 > cleverdevice | 28-Apr-04/5:33 AM | Reply
Its actually based on a real crazy old vietnam vet, who would wander the park or remain on bus benches- the sort who enjoyed anyones company and really wanted to buy you all the beer and smokes you want (provided that you have the money of course!)

It was pretty funny to be drunk and watching him attempt to make the empty cans disappear, his failure evoking a face full of bewilderment emphasised by his wrinkles- he'd never stop believing in his star power.. lmao.
[8] zodiac @ 67.240.155.118 | 28-Apr-04/5:29 AM | Reply
"During many of their sexual encounters, the NEGRO stood leaning against the doorway of the bathroom across from the study, which, he told Ms. LOUISA, eased his sore back... Ms. LOUISA testified that her physical relationship with the NEGRO included oral sex but not sexual intercourse. According to Ms. LOUISA, she performed oral sex on the NEGRO; he never performed oral sex on her. Initially, according to Ms. LOUISA, the NEGRO would not let her perform oral sex to completion. In Ms. LOUISA's understanding, his refusal was related to "trust and not knowing me well enough." During their last two sexual encounters, both in 1997, he did ejaculate. According to Ms. LOUISA, she performed oral sex on the NEGRO on nine occasions. On all nine of those occasions, the NEGRO fondled and kissed her bare breasts. He touched her genitals, both through her underwear and directly, bringing her to orgasm on two occasions. On one occasion, the NEGRO inserted a cigar into her vagina. On another occasion, she and the NEGRO had brief genital-to-genital contact."
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.161.176 > zodiac | 28-Apr-04/5:41 AM | Reply
You know some folks would actually sit here and wonder if theres a deeper meaning/message hidden within this erotic snippet.. but I have no such urge. But I am compelled to cackle in pubescent amusement, while asking myself if the cigar was fully lit when the NEGRO shafted LOUISA with it- just one of many such silly questions that I can not keep from poping to mind.
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > zodiac | 28-Apr-04/5:41 AM | Reply
Sheriff Fortune informed the Board the he was here this evening to speak about the intersection of Courthouse Road (Route 208) and Three Chopt Road (Route 250). Sheriff Fortune explained that they had a fatal accident at this intersection on Saturday April 3, 2004. Sheriff Fortune requested the Board to write a letter to VDOT to have them take another look at this intersection to determine if they can put in a stop light in place of the red flashing lights that folks don’t pay attention to.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.161.176 > Shuushin | 28-Apr-04/5:46 AM | Reply
How about we forget the light and substitute it with a very large red dildo? that will get people to stop and take a look.. leave a corpse by it and its sure to work perfectly.
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > SupremeDreamer | 28-Apr-04/5:52 AM | Reply
Chairman Barnes explained to Mr. Rudd that most of these accidents involve individuals that are not familiar with the intersection or individuals coming down Route 250 that are not familiar with the area. Chairman Barnes stated that he would appreciate any help that Mr. Rudd can provide.

Mr. Rudd said that there is a possibility that they might be able to install signs to alert drivers if they are unable to install the light.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.161.176 > Shuushin | 28-Apr-04/5:56 AM | Reply
You have perfectly pulled off the genuine humor-less robotic reply. Have you not even considered the possibility of mixing sex toys with traffic control? You have instilled fear deep into my jester soul... I'll suffer the trauma for the rest of my life now.
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > SupremeDreamer | 28-Apr-04/6:00 AM | Reply
Dr. Morgan asked Mr. Rudd what he thought about having rumble strips at this intersection.

Mr. Rudd replied that this is certainly another option and asked if they would prefer to have these on Route 208 or Route 250.

Chairman Barnes said that he would agree with whatever it takes to stop the fatalities.
[8] zodiac @ 67.240.155.92 > Shuushin | 28-Apr-04/6:19 AM | Reply
Yes of course, but the category is actually Funny Celebrity Lechers, so clueranker score: -7-
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > zodiac | 28-Apr-04/6:48 AM | Reply
On of these days you'll be correct, expecially if you keep practicing.

Thank you for playing.
[8] zodiac @ 67.240.192.188 > Shuushin | 28-Apr-04/6:53 AM | Reply
I made up the category yesterday, ergo: correct.
[8] zodiac @ 67.240.192.188 > zodiac | 28-Apr-04/6:51 AM | Reply
To wit: "At the time, director James Cameron was married but having an affair with one of the film’s stars, Linda Hamilton. One evening, while riding in a limo with Cameron, Hamilton, and others, Schwarzenegger suddenly lifted Hamilton onto his lap and began fondling her breasts through the very thin top she was wearing. The witness says, “I couldn’t believe Cameron didn’t have the balls to tell Arnold to get off his girl. The whole thing made me sick.”

"A female producer on one of Schwarzenegger’s films tells of a time when her ex-husband came to visit the set. When she introduced the man to Schwarzenegger, the star quipped, “Is this guy the reason why you didn’t come up to my hotel room last night and suck my cock?”

"A woman who went to the set of 1996’s Eraser recalls the friend she was visiting there being asked to retrieve Schwarzenegger from his trailer for a shot that was ready to roll earlier than expected. “He asked me if I wanted to meet Arnold, and I said sure. When we opened the door to his trailer, Arnold was giving oral sex to a woman. He looked up and, with that accent, said very slowly, ‘Eating is not cheating.’ I met him again about a year later and asked him, in German, whether or not eating was cheating, and he just laughed.”"
[8] zodiac @ 67.240.155.92 > SupremeDreamer | 28-Apr-04/6:15 AM | Reply
clueranker score: 1
236 view(s)




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