regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/4:02 PM
Firstly, let me warn you, there are subscribers to this site who are going to insult you as you have never been insulted before. They're on a crusade to element the world of bad poetry. Don't take it personally, although they will. Secondly, this poem is pretty under-developed, (that's why I'm warning you. The minute this poem crosses their path they will jump on it like it were wounded prey)so I suggest you start at the beginning. Read some damn good books of poetry, Pulitzer prize winners. Here on this site you can read Babbitt11, Cristof, poetandknowit, zzinnia66. Horus8 and Bachus are also good writers but they're more political. Anyway, your poem doesn't portray anything other then feelings. Where are you, what does he look, smell, taste, act like. What did you do together. Read a poem, they don't look like this. Flesh it out.It takes years of dedication to write well, most people never will. I'm not saying you shouldn't try, but putting pen to paper does not a poem make. Nothing personal but this is about as bad as it gets.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/4:10 PM
-the pain- discribe it! -the dispear- Describe it. Aaargh this is frustrating! You repeat yourself over and over and still reveal nothing. what did he do to make you trhink of him as strong? DISCRIBE IT TO ME!!!! Read poetand knowits poem titled "work"
Re: Love and Marriage in Da Nang by Tascobar	27-Aug-02/4:14 PM
Repetetive and predictable. 5 dolla no holla. Shit this joke is probably older then you.0
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/4:17 PM
Simplistic. 0
Re: The boy who shot birds by Bachus	27-Aug-02/4:34 PM
Thanks for the news update. Have you thought about starting a political/poetry zine?
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/4:46 PM
This isn't a poem, it's advice, good advice, but no poem. Read Rumi, read anything. How do these precious gifts present themselves to you? What do YOU mean by society ?'progress'? too vague.
Re: Jesus was a necromancer by horus8	27-Aug-02/4:52 PM
Lots of comments no votes. I'll give it a 3. not your best
Re: Voices by justintotennis	27-Aug-02/4:55 PM
Caught mommy and daddy going for it huh?
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/5:18 PM
Ok so it's an it. All you refer to is you, you ,you ,you, at nauseum. I used the personal pronoun he so what? Your poem is still way below par, to say the least.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/5:21 PM
I thought so. It's very beautiful, and anyone with your ability to preceive life'sreality can make an impact as a poet.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/5:25 PM
Look I tried to be gentle, but there is really no nice way to say your a terrible poet. p.s. I chose God, HE didn't choose me.I am the Goddess not Him.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/5:30 PM
You're welcome. Look all i mean is you should expect more from your poems. I bet if you tried just a little bit harder to be more specific you could come up with some better examples for the experiences you're trying to represent
Re: Daughter by pkdrunner	27-Aug-02/5:32 PM
Aaah! Good poem. Last 2 lines could be a poem onto themselves.6
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/5:45 PM
Anagara: you've made alot of good points. I will take them into consideration. You are wrong about me wanting to become part of their group. I'm not here for that. I want to get a feel for how my poetry impacts people and how i can improve it.That is all. I wish someone would critize my poetry in an effective way, maybe you? Perhaps you're right not to critize, and maybe I should follow in kind. I assumed folk's posted their work here because they wish to improve. But maybe you're right and they just want to share.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/5:52 PM
Anagram : sorry i spelled your name wrong i'm no good at this typing thing. Just a post script; I have not been accepted by the Mafiosos. To the contrary they refuse to leave any comments or votes. The few i have received have been from more the 'working class' and that's who I identi with, again if you would please comment on my stuff good, bad or indifferent.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/6:18 PM
1 million thank yous. Why is it your poems have never popped up when I choose random? Hmmmm. I wonder. I will make it a point to view them. Again thank you for commenting, but mostly thank you for giving me insight. I live for those moments when someone guides me towards being a little more bearable.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/6:21 PM
Leave Anagram alone. He's my new friend, and he's Scottish and will hammer you into the ground with his big Scottish fists!
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/6:22 PM
Who's Jim Steinam? Teach me teach me.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Aug-02/6:32 PM
bacAss: Maybe if you drink some more alchohol, take some more drugs, suck some more old has-been Hollywood rich man's cock, you'd be in a better mood. Or maybe you should abuse your girlfriend in front of your son some more. Hoof's to you, you sod.
Re: Comparisons by anagram	27-Aug-02/6:42 PM
I think I suffer from wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone wrote like me syndrome. This poem for example, I know what your talking about but I crave the details. I want metaphors, like, niave as turnips,in my poem. Your angel sleeps like......what? I know you could come up with something lovely. The emotions are there but I want more substance.