Re: Victory smokes & black tiger ambrosia by Don-Quixote	13-Jan-04/7:27 AM
You've broken your own record for concentrated self-indulgent guff. "Dirt road of loathing" sounds like the title of a Tool song. As does every single other line. Furthermore: 1. Vinegar isn't bitter. 2. "Fangs kiss bloody flesh" could only be made worse by hiring a tramp to hump the reader's leg while they read it. 3. The reason nobody says "fervid" outside of adolescent poetry and the 18th century is because it's a ridiculous word with no merit. 4. The whole thing is totally incoherent. It's just one random, self-congratulatory image after another. There's nothing to interest a reader. 5. Nobody except furries and hobos "growl in 'victory'. 6. Anybody who claims to be "groovin to the blue-collar blues" isn't. 7. You're a grotesquely ugly freak. Thanks. 10!!!!!!!
Re: a comment on Kenny G by Everyone	12-Jan-04/7:46 PM
"OK"? Kenny G's music is the sound of beauty flowing through a satin-lined pipette into a bottle of dream-scented lotion.
Re: a comment on The Blues by fevriere	12-Jan-04/2:55 PM
By "literally", you must mean "figuratively". You know, the opposite of "literally". Truth doesn't literally resonate, because it doesn't have a molecular structure.
Re: Just A Dream by Blindpoetry	12-Jan-04/2:48 PM
Then why is there spunk all over the bedclothes?
Re: The Ballad of Robert Kilroy-Silk by Steaming Dung Heap	12-Jan-04/12:39 PM
You shut up about Kilroy.
Re: a comment on Watching by DMonster	12-Jan-04/6:23 AM
Were they... sniffing the building?
Re: a comment on Watching by DMonster	12-Jan-04/5:56 AM
Why do you weep for the death of a peasant?
Re: I read your diary by Jeremi B. Handrinos	12-Jan-04/4:27 AM
This truly ranks among the world's best disability haiku.
Re: a comment on Cherry Blossoms (anti-haiku) by middenHeap	12-Jan-04/4:20 AM
So did the Kingsmen.
Re: a comment on New commandments by little_big_nose	12-Jan-04/4:18 AM
Said the man whose cack-addled explorations of spur-of-the-moment buttmouthing are the least-well-spelled things ever.
Re: The Blues by fevriere	12-Jan-04/3:45 AM
What the fuck is a quivering truth? Truth doesn't quiver.
Re: a comment on Cherry Blossoms (anti-haiku) by middenHeap	12-Jan-04/3:33 AM
Marilyn Manson's music has nothing in common with goth music. A lot of excited, misled teenagers think it is, because they like the idea that they're "goths". Marilyn Manson is to goth music what Kenny G is to jazz. Ask anyone over the age of 17 who knows something about music that isn't marketed to angry children who think "Satan" is a terribly shocking word and cutting oneself is a soul-searching, freedom-fighting assault on suburbian normality. Marilyn Manson didn't invent atheism. He didn't invent corpse paint. He didn't invent singing in a ridiculous croaking voice. He didn't invent lyrics about cutting yourself, Satan, being misunderstood, etc. He didn't invent calling himself by a lady's name on stage. He didn't invent chugging on an E chord for half an hour. He didn't invent doing "goth" covers of pop songs. He didn't invent "shocking" hoodies with "FUCK" on the back. He didn't invent wearing opaque contact lenses so it looks like he's got a tiny pupil and no iris. He didn't invent stripy stockings. He didn't invent transvetitism. The only thing he did invent was a perfect formula for getting angry, unpopular 13-year-olds to buy his music, wear his shirts and go to his concerts. Marilyn Manson has never done an original thing in his life, even though I know you love him and think everything he does is incredibly inventive and amazing. But, you know, that's because you're an angry retard. Which is the best sort!
Re: a comment on Fake Happiness by WithoutLife	11-Jan-04/1:25 AM
Of course I can relate to being unhappy, you boob. Every human being can. Teenagers on the whole aren't any more unhappy than adults on the whole. The only difference is that, while most adults can pull themselves together no matter how awful they feel, most teenagers instantly collapse into self-pity, write a few lines of careless, unpracticed verse about their emotions, post it on a public web site, and call it a poem. That teenager gets very upset when someone criticises his poem for not being poetry, because he thinks poetry is just writing about your feelings, when it isn't: it's writing about anything you like, but with careful attention to the use of language. "Who are you to judge what is poetry and what is not?" Look it up in a fucking dictionary, or, you know, read some actual real published poetry. I'm not criticising anyone for being an "amateur". I don't know why you can't understand that. There's nothing shameful or wrong about being inexperienced. But there is something wrong with taking a totally wrong-headed approach to poetry, which is what Blindpoetry and chums are doing. One more thing: about "constructive criticism". I don't know what you think it is, but I'll tell you what I think it is: Criticism that tells someone where they're going wrong, and what they might do instead. You know, like what I've been doing. In conclusion, you can go suck a fuck, Elizabeth.
Re: a comment on Fake Happiness by WithoutLife	9-Jan-04/11:06 PM
No, listen. The reason your poetry doesn't work isn't because it "sounds like a novel". It's not because you don't have the right feelings. It's nothing to do with feelings. It's because you don't put together words in any kind of pleasing way. You just mash them together in a melodramatic soup. "Without meaning, what is poetry?" Poetry, as I said, is the "art of language". What painting is to brush strokes, poetry is to words. If you don't know how to use a paintbrush, you can't paint, no matter what sort of feelings you might have. If you don't know how to use words and how to fit them together, you can't write poetry, no matter what sort of feelings you might have. Imagine if someone who had never tried to paint before showed you a terrible, incompetent painting and asked you for your honest opinion. Because you're being honest, you tell them it's ugly. "But it comes from the heart!" they say. "How can it be ugly? All you care about is how it looks!" Their reply is absurd, because painting isn't a competition to see who can have the best feelings, or who can draw the most "meaningful" picture. It has elements of that, but painting is painting because you paint. You have to have mastery of painting before you can express anything with it effectively. You don't need feelings to paint well. It might be that you feelings to paint an artistic masterpiece, but before that you need to know how to paint. Similarly: You don't need feelings to write poetry well. It might be that you need feelings to write a poetic masterpiece, but before that you need to know how to write. You need to have a mastery of English and the sound of language before you can effectively express feelings with poetry. You might not like it, but that's the way it is. If you want to improve your writing, stop writing poetry and start writing prose. Read constantly. When you can write a decent sentence, then maybe you can start on poetry. P.S. I say "fuck" a lot because "fuck" is an ace word.
Re: My Castle by Cougarchic	9-Jan-04/9:23 PM
Terrible, angsty bullcrap. No attempt to actually write poetry, just a series of melodramatic sentences and linebreaks where full stops should go. You probably dream of horsies at night. BUT SCARY HORSIES WITH BLACK WINGS OF HATRED, RIGHT?
Re: a comment on Fake Happiness by WithoutLife	9-Jan-04/9:20 PM
What's "amazing" about it, Captain Gush? Nobody ever says "seized" out loud. When you write "seized" everyone knows you're an angsty teenager trying to write dramatic, soul-searching explorations of pain and beauty, or some shit like that. A shoe can write better than WithoutLife.
Re: a comment on Fake Happiness by WithoutLife	9-Jan-04/9:16 PM
No they don't, you cretin. Editors are supposed to catch the odd mistake, not systematically correct every word because the author is too duncely to spell. The first refuge of the moron with an inflated idea of their own "creativity" is to claim that spelling, punctuation and grammar are irrelevant to writing poetry. You think there is some beautiful, deep spiritual feeling in your soul which you express to create poetry. You are wrong. Poetry is not "the expression of my feelings in words". "Creativity" is for weaving a sausage cosy for your mother in arts & crafts class. It means dick in poetry. Poetry is knowing how to fucking use language. Great poets aren't great because they express their fucking feelings. They're great because of their incredible command of English. If you can't spell, you can't write good English, and if you don't know how to write good English, how the fuck do you think you'll be able to write poetry? It's like saying you want to be a sculptor, but you don't want to go through the difficult work of learning how to chisel. If you were a sculptor you'd create a marble abominations that looked like a mauled hunchback, but you'd think it was beautiful because it expressed your love for best friend. What you're writing isn't poetry. It's guff. You can't write a pleasant-sounding sentence to save your life. Read your work out loud. It's absurd. "Your tears blind you You cannot see" Who the fuck are you trying to kid? You're not in a fantasy novel. People who know how to write don't write like that, because it sounds like a retard being crushed by a bulldozer. In conclusion, stop posting. Thanks!
Re: a comment on Come sleep with me by Freethinker1602	8-Jan-04/9:15 PM
That's what poetry is, assface. Putting "feeling" to "words". You've just said "I like this poeme". THAT'S WHAT THE VOTING SECTION IS FOR GROINWAGON.
Re: Harry the Moon by Mimi & Vincent	8-Jan-04/11:20 AM
MEDIOCRITY CHECKLISTE [X] AABB rhyming scheme [_] Arbitrary indentation [_] Arbitrary line breaks [X] Clerical errors [_] Ellipses used overabundantly [_] Lower case only [_] Internet shorthand / emoticons [X] Repetition of a word or phrase ad nauseam [_] Devoid of rhyme [_] Devoid of other linguistic embellishments (alliteration, etc) [_] Devoid of other literary devices (metaphor, synaesthesia, etc) [_] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery [_] About drugs [_] About romantic love [_] About suicide or self-mutilation [_] About writing [X] Cliched imagery (tears falling like rain, angel in heaven) [X] Cliched rhymes (love/above, heart/apart) [X] Sounds like dialogue in a fantasy novel [_] Melodramatic [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [_] Concerns the author's social pastimes [_] Leaving rant [_] Vicarious wish fulfilment [_] Pointedly unanswered questions [X] Smugly-named protagonist [_] Sanctimonious [_] Untitled [_] Gushingly religious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Rage against the machine [_] Self-obsessed -7-
Re: Thommmn Thrrremmn by fatmansinging	8-Jan-04/11:14 AM
Champion