on Memoirs IV by http://mulberryfairy
9 Nov 2003, 3:31 PM
Very nice. Try an allusion to the giant line early in the piece. Also, check tenses--I think they're okay, but I still found myself going hmmm.
on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy
31 Jul 2003, 3:14 PM
wicked hot!
on Ode to a Fox Cub by http://mulberryfairy
25 Jul 2003, 7:27 PM
I like the dream segue. I wish that I could bring the little guy back. Why didn't you get money for the skins? Spell 'break' brake. A touching piece that gets a niner.
on Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? by horus8
23 Jul 2003, 3:24 PM
This piece is very cool. I love it when poets stick it to each other! The weak hand masturbation makes the poem, but it's the chewbacca ending that gets me ... maybe your next piece should be about chewy masturbating with his furry weak and/or strong hand while solo translates his pleasure moans.
Oh, good luck with the Avon.
Oh, good luck with the Avon.
on I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike
22 Jul 2003, 5:23 PM
Harsh, but delicious ... sorry, I'm actually just hungry.
on One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined
22 Jul 2003, 5:20 PM
You almost had me until temp'ry ... nice try, doesn't work. At first I thought you were going for a sonnet and I think you should try to take it there.