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Ode to a Fox Cub (Ode) by http://mulberryfairy
In the bowels of the coast of Maine, still miles from anything a person might identify as “ocean” I drove down imbedded winding roads which followed the island’s peninsulas like veins in fingers. The roads were lined with lobstering families’ trailers and trucks, sheds without doors sheltering blue plastic barrels full of icy dead fish who are used as bait for the cash crop. Wooden warfs float there atop crumbling sytrofoam, The piers are littered with discarded crab legs and rubber banded lobsters who died before being bought. Gas pumps rock there with the tide, seeming strangely out of place, looped with strained, knotted ropes that fasten floating baskets full of unlucky lobsters. I found you there, lying among the roadside ferns and gravel curled under a street sign as though this were an afternoon nap. No wounds were visible, but there was no denying your expiration: you lay too still while cars zoomed by, so close to your resting place that they ruffled your downy red hair. You were still a child, really, I’d seen you and your siblings running off in the woods, or coming into the road to snatch a piece of dead raccoon. You were naïve to think you could contend with the danger of manmade speed. Someone else would notice your death and retrieve you to sell for your fur. But how did you get curled into that cozy little ball, like a small housecat at the foot of a bed? Did some guilt striken driver lovingly shape you into fetal position, tears streaming down his face as he repeated “I just couldn’t brake in time” ? Did you get hit while you were already on the gravel shoulder of the road, some hostile former pet owner whose rabbit had disappeared perhaps suddenly swerved out of her way to knock you down? Or did you drag yourself from the road, weak and alone, running out of energy just at the road’s edge? An unhappy grave for a wild cub like you. I was unwilling to disturb you because of fear: your gaping wound would appear, maggot covered and stinking, an image that would haunt me, a smell that would gag me as it lingered in my nostils, a contamination I would struggle vigorously to wash away. I left you there, without an ally. You and your striking fur coat deserted amongst roadside litter. You haunted my dream, Little Fox, I lifted you into the air over my head, your fresh blood skipping down my face as I carried you ceremoniously back into the woods I gave to you all the respect and worship my skeptical agnosticism could muster I recurled your body against the low branches of a pine tree your pointed snout covered gently by your shimmering tail. There you would be eaten by other starving scavengers, your soul finally released.

Up the ladder: Prison Dinner 'Lady'
Down the ladder: Gods Musician: Grave Digger

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.537883
Overall Rank: 2575
Posted: July 25, 2003 8:51 AM PDT; Last modified: July 26, 2003 8:03 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] walrus8 @ 195.157.153.253 | 25-Jul-03/8:59 AM | Reply
Any poem with "bowels" as the third word gets a thumbs up from me!! Cheers!
[9] abecedarian @ 164.67.82.153 | 25-Jul-03/9:42 AM | Reply
I know exactly how you feel. I was worried about exploring your poem too thoroughly when I found it lying here. An unhappy and overly visible grave for a poem like this.
[7] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 25-Jul-03/11:44 AM | Reply
I'm not one to preach, but I assure you this is a third too long. A great story, a touch fat.
[n/a] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.146.29 > <{Baba^Yaga}> | 26-Jul-03/8:00 PM | Reply
You and I both know that if this poem had been as graphic about the subjects of sex and/or feces that you, and other p-rankers, wouldn't complain. Actually, I am aware that I have a dangerous tendency to be wordy (especially for the short attention span of the poemranker audience). I thought about taking out the first stanza, but it seemed like it needed the background- so you could imagine what kinds of Maine people that fox might have also come in contact with.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > http://mulberryfairy | 27-Jul-03/12:30 PM | Reply
Do we? I believe you have me confused for someone else, but fine, if you believe that more power to you. I could of sworn that's always been my argument against certain poemranker crowds, but if you want the platform now, be my guest. I'm saying this 'piece' of poetry could be tightened, compressed and shortened, and lose nothing but it's redundant wordiness, whether there are fucking idiots on poemranker swimming in feces, or suffering from milking farm animals with the attention span of a ripe squash. All poetry can always use a good edit. Spare me your need to drag the poemranker argument into my observation of your wonderful piece. It makes me like you less for being that easilly unfocused, and I was really getting to like you quite a bit. For instance "starving scavengers" Scavengers are always starving hence why they scavenge, therefore lose starving. You have twenty examples of this type of redundant wordiness in your poem. And the shape and structure of the piece, is ugly, and could use an editor was all I was saying, said, because, I like the poem and care.
[n/a] http://mulberryfairy @ 24.97.224.6 > horus8 | 27-Jul-03/2:03 PM | Reply
That was a joke horus8/babayaga, I actually enjoy the variety on poemranker, excepting the rhyming love poems. I didn't even know there was this poemranker controversy that you are talking about. But I appreciate the feedback about the Fox poem, I admitted being wordy, and that is why I posted it here for feedback before submitting it somewhere. You are right about the shape, my husband, a more visual kind of poet, thought it was supposed to be shaped like a fox head, LOL.
[n/a] JoyLuck @ 68.75.20.183 > http://mulberryfairy | 27-Jul-03/2:08 PM | Reply
I would be happy to do that for you.
Shape it like a fox head.
[9] http://findingwater @ 216.195.145.235 | 25-Jul-03/7:27 PM | Reply
I like the dream segue. I wish that I could bring the little guy back. Why didn't you get money for the skins? Spell 'break' brake. A touching piece that gets a niner.
[9] rusty @ 205.188.209.7 | 5-Aug-03/2:19 PM | Reply
what I enjoyed most was the vision of humanity and nature the questions and statements that were given. I very beautiful peice
[n/a] peaceseeker @ 24.97.224.6 | 23-Aug-03/10:53 AM | Reply
I wonder what a dream dictionary would say about this one!
I think it shows courage and a lot of empathy to carry the dead fox into the woods.
I wonder if you were feeling like the dead fox?
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