horus827 Jul 2003

Do we? I believe you have me confused for someone else, but fine, if you believe that more power to you. I could of sworn that's always been my argument against certain poemranker crowds, but if you want the platform now, be my guest. I'm saying this 'piece' of poetry could be tightened, compressed and shortened, and lose nothing but it's redundant wordiness, whether there are fucking idiots on poemranker swimming in feces, or suffering from milking farm animals with the attention span of a ripe squash. All poetry can always use a good edit. Spare me your need to drag the poemranker argument into my observation of your wonderful piece. It makes me like you less for being that easilly unfocused, and I was really getting to like you quite a bit. For instance "starving scavengers" Scavengers are always starving hence why they scavenge, therefore lose starving. You have twenty examples of this type of redundant wordiness in your poem. And the shape and structure of the piece, is ugly, and could use an editor was all I was saying, said, because, I like the poem and care.