regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jan-03/12:02 PM
I actually rather like this. simple, to the point -- overdone, but quick about it. would go well over a speedmetal riff or something.
Re: My bedtime story by famenglory	27-Jan-03/10:00 AM
doesn't do it for me. too klunky.
Re: Melancholy Tale by aperfecttool77	27-Jan-03/10:00 AM
why did I read this? well, I didn't: I stopped at the trite questions.
Re: Emergency by Nicholas Jones	27-Jan-03/10:01 AM
I think I need more context for this. as it, it seems pointlessly haphazard/random.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jan-03/10:02 AM
erm. good disclaimer at the end?
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-03/1:12 AM
overall, a reasonable poem given the dead and done subject matter. I'd recommend counting syllables, though -- it feels like it wants a strong structure, but it's all over the place in small amounts, making reading it hard to do. but still -- dead and done and best buried subject matter.
Re: Longing by galiana	28-Jan-03/1:14 AM
why do you switch form near the end? it wasn't entirely pleasing, but it worked better in solidarity, at least. nothing here for me, though.
Re: ending by Limness	29-Jan-03/3:07 PM
very nice. :)
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Feb-03/10:51 PM
I'm not quite with you on "fingered my cortex like it was a thesaurus" -- I don't tend to finger thesaurii..? also a bit biased in that I have a bit of a clue what's going on (which makes me like it better). actually, me having a clue is really the main thing I like about this, shortly followed by... you use good words and imagery and flow. it is good. but I think if I didn't know a bit here and there, this wouldn't mean much to me -- the airport seems entirely superfluous to the poem (could be dropped for greater effect, possibly, or expanded to have some stronger meaning). beyond that... (?) a) yay, you wrote something! ;) b) it's pretty good. again, maybe the years between us keeps me distant from it, some. 7 as is. I think it could be an 8 or 9 (in my book). but it would need to be more self-contained.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Feb-03/11:55 PM
oh yeah. I think you have a winner now. :)
Re: Kaolin Fire is SHIT by poemwanker	2-Feb-03/11:56 PM
:sniff: You CARE, you really CARE!
Re: For my wife by INTRANSIT	17-Feb-03/9:04 PM
I think I would have liked hammock better (netted swing is poetic, but I didn't get it). this is simple and short, densely packed with common images, but... the collage is almost poignant. leans towards trite. maybe just the "ing ing ing".
Re: THE WHEELCHAIR by Garrett S Sexton	17-Feb-03/9:06 PM
you whizzed on your legs?
Re: Death Of Day ( re-edit) by Mr Pig	17-Feb-03/9:10 PM
I like "silver assassin", but the rest ... seems almost there. just not quite.
Re: wandering, north by <~>	18-Feb-03/9:03 PM
I didn't like the rhythm in the last line of s1-5,7. but the rest I loved. 9. just posted a poem that was (sort of) an attempt to diverge from "my style" (and sort of just a needed, erm, release).
Re: A Losing Streak by Jigg	6-Mar-03/1:11 PM
I hear that.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Mar-03/1:44 PM
hmm. :) [much better]
Re: Worshipping the Porclin God by Derge	11-Apr-03/3:11 PM
All I can say is... strange. It does have a certain something to it.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jun-03/8:01 PM
well, you've definitely made your point...
Re: The boy by geewhiz1962	4-Jun-03/10:10 PM
"a heir" -> "an heir" You might try getting someone to read this aloud to you, and pick out where the flow seems off. (I stumbled all over the place; nearly broke an 'ankle'). And I'm not all too into the "I must capitalize the first word of every line and put a period at the end". It doesn't "go with the flow" for me. Lots of sentences arbitrarily chopped...