Re: My Hidden Love for You by Kriss	12-Aug-02/11:07 AM
haha. me? wise. nope. but i'm glad my comments helped you.
Re: in a parking lot by <~>	12-Aug-02/12:02 PM
god bless the sneezers! they need it. sorry about your thumb. i spent yesterday floating in a lake, talking about riptides with divers. nary a wave to be seen, but plenty o'sun, and time to think.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Aug-02/12:07 PM
one point for each stanza
Re: Sleepy Geek by razorgrin	12-Aug-02/12:27 PM
it's no fun being in the service industry, period. perhaps an other unholy bargain could be struck? --liked it lots.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Aug-02/3:33 PM
babbitt--again, subtly evoked vast emptiness. p&k--are you really as one dimensional as you purport?
Re: To You, In Warmer Climes by <~>	12-Aug-02/5:50 PM
babbit--actually, i had not tried it sans articles. i recently rewrote it, and you are right; it could be tighter. as for the 'cross', it's a cross rhyme with longer, and i liked the truncation of the word as well as the mental suggestion of trial/suffering that the word invokes. so, my poem has its 'cross' to bear. and longer, not only for the rhyme, but also for the sense of passage of time. as for the one-dimensional comment, that was indeen for p&k; i find your work to be layered with meaning. also, the whole point of the triangle poem, as it has come to be known in these circles, is that all balances on the 'I'. very awkward, with the weight of the world on one's shoulders, non?
Re: good-bye kansas city: meditation #1 by poetandknowit	12-Aug-02/5:57 PM
all right p&k. i'll give it up for this one. i'm smiling big now.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Aug-02/6:16 PM
the mix of archaic and modern language doesn't work here.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Aug-02/6:46 PM
WHY SHOUT? other than that, i like it
Re: Butterflies by eviltwin	12-Aug-02/6:48 PM
'storm of a thousand whispers' 'spun light web' 'sun-buttered' i am sated. thank you.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Aug-02/12:36 PM
pete--why didn't you move the lines around, so that the visual appearance of the poem contributes to the shape it makes in the mind's eye?
Re: Let's praise the flesh peddler by horus8	13-Aug-02/6:38 PM
dear mr. tourette, may i just say <fuck yeah, horus> that i found your piece <meaty beaty big and bouncy> most stimulating <ejaculation complete>. i say old boy, <horny bastard> solid <rock hard> use of metaphor! mesmerising mood <rufie>! keep up <mmmm...> the good work!
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Aug-02/7:49 PM
i like the idea behind this and there are some powerful images scratched here, but it seems like, in trying to keep the rhyming, you loose the thread of purpose. it could be so much better.
Re: Nude Limbo by forestchild7	13-Aug-02/8:32 PM
you wrote it april 15th? i guess if you're wonder what to do with yourself, in case your lover's a no-show, you could always do your taxes...
Re: Let's praise the flesh peddler by horus8	13-Aug-02/9:08 PM
evening h. take what you can from the lamity. there must be something there worth looking at...sophia notwithstanding. i have been told that is most disturbing, the way i tend to vanish from social events without a word of warning. i just can't abide the 'scene'. got better things to do. like jack off into my palm...oh, my, that sounded vaguely offensive. heh. i'm being a dick now. better go focus on something other than how tired i am. must...write...before...slepp. ta.
Re: Listen by mozac	13-Aug-02/9:30 PM
pare this down to make it sing. be ruthless.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Aug-02/9:43 PM
alack, allay! i no longer possess the only 'triangle poem' (as p&k so brilliantly dubbed it) on the site. methinks i should end it all, now, before everyone tries me with their angles! apart from that, i must say that your keen observation of the mundane and subsequent crafting of the experience into language almost always delights me. wry to the core. encore.
Re: The Sea by Tarquin De La Bog	13-Aug-02/9:49 PM
i'd like to see more of your poetry, T de la B. you have been quite vocal, of late. put your words, um, where your other words are. yeah, that's exactly it. post some, so that we, in turn, may have our turn at summing you.
Re: silence of the sky by david	13-Aug-02/9:56 PM
i want to know who 'we' are.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Aug-02/9:58 PM
the last line, why did you do that? it was going some where, and with the last line, it fell flat. IMHO.