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Sleepy Geek (Free verse) by razorgrin It's so hot my soul is sweating and I cry out "Lord
I'm gonna slay my stupid neighbours with my +2 short sword
of drunk-smiting. I cast "Silence" on their porch
to quell their noise,but the stereo has spell resistance +20.
It annoys me that I have to do this on a Friday night.
I told them I work tomorrow, why do they put me through this shit?
So I'll wake up early and go to work, this stuff always happens to me
I'ts no fun being the only high-level mage
in the service industry.
Up the ladder:
Xmas gifts list
Down the ladder:
Soldiers
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Posted: June 22, 2002 6:18 AM PDT; Last modified: June 22, 2002 6:18 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.714431 Overall Rank: 1923 Comments:
[7]
deleted user @ 206.180.235.13
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24-Jun-02/1:45 AM
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Reply
Not a "normal" poem, but funny and well-crafted nonetheless.
I've just come into your town with two displacer beasts and a griffon. I have an imp on my shoulder for a familiar plus i'm half type three demon. you also notice that i posess
The hand and eye of Vecna, and The sword of Kas. What do you do. I'll role. l
Just a couple of little things.
Firstly, unless it's some sorta wacky unique thing, it should be "drunk bane" not smiting. Also, Spell Resistance isn't measureed in bonuses, so just 20 would be fine. Finally, though it is an acceptable synonym, with your use of out-of-game terms in the sentence, it might be more prudent to say "high-level wizardess (or sorcereress)" instead of mage, since the mage classification dosn't really exist tangibly in 3rd Edition. Sorry! :)
it's no fun being in the service industry, period. perhaps an other unholy bargain could be struck? --liked it lots.
An unholy bargain to forge the Nametag of Invisibility? Seems like it could be usefull.
This is very funny. I know exactly how you feel. We obviously have the same neighbours.
Hee hee... I remember that evening. Sorry I couldn't do anything about it for you.
these things happen. My new neighbours are fans of new country music and have lots of screaming fights. Looks like a job for the ol' +5 shocking frost burst dire flail. that or the sigil of death spell. either way.
2 more to go
I send my imp familiar to deliver a 'harm' spell.
Ooh! Can I help?
Depends. You can still cast Fireball, right?
Probably, yes. If not, I'll just bludgeon.
Either way.
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