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Sleepy Geek (Free verse) by razorgrin
It's so hot my soul is sweating and I cry out "Lord I'm gonna slay my stupid neighbours with my +2 short sword of drunk-smiting. I cast "Silence" on their porch to quell their noise,but the stereo has spell resistance +20. It annoys me that I have to do this on a Friday night. I told them I work tomorrow, why do they put me through this shit? So I'll wake up early and go to work, this stuff always happens to me I'ts no fun being the only high-level mage in the service industry.

Up the ladder: Xmas gifts list
Down the ladder: Soldiers

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Weighted score: 5.714431
Overall Rank: 1923
Posted: June 22, 2002 6:18 AM PDT; Last modified: June 22, 2002 6:18 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] deleted user @ 206.180.235.13 | 24-Jun-02/1:45 AM | Reply
Not a "normal" poem, but funny and well-crafted nonetheless.
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 15-Jul-02/5:50 PM | Reply
I've just come into your town with two displacer beasts and a griffon. I have an imp on my shoulder for a familiar plus i'm half type three demon. you also notice that i posess
The hand and eye of Vecna, and The sword of Kas. What do you do. I'll role. l
[n/a] razorgrin @ | 16-Jul-02/7:31 AM | Reply
I cast "power word:kill". If that doesn't work, I disbelieve.
[9] Shin-Bojangles @ 198.164.188.31 | 11-Aug-02/2:20 AM | Reply
Just a couple of little things.
Firstly, unless it's some sorta wacky unique thing, it should be "drunk bane" not smiting. Also, Spell Resistance isn't measureed in bonuses, so just 20 would be fine. Finally, though it is an acceptable synonym, with your use of out-of-game terms in the sentence, it might be more prudent to say "high-level wizardess (or sorcereress)" instead of mage, since the mage classification dosn't really exist tangibly in 3rd Edition.
Sorry! :)
[n/a] razorgrin @ | 12-Aug-02/12:17 PM | Reply
"Mage" scans better, muffin-butt. As for the sword, you know it's a wacky unique item forged in my old basement by the spider people as part of that unholy bargain.
[8] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 12-Aug-02/12:27 PM | Reply
it's no fun being in the service industry, period. perhaps an other unholy bargain could be struck? --liked it lots.
[9] Shin-Bojangles @ 198.164.188.188 | 13-Aug-02/12:23 AM | Reply
An unholy bargain to forge the Nametag of Invisibility? Seems like it could be usefull.
[8] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 22-Aug-02/4:06 AM | Reply
This is very funny. I know exactly how you feel. We obviously have the same neighbours.
[6] Tintagiles @ 198.164.238.3 | 25-Feb-03/10:02 AM | Reply
Hee hee... I remember that evening. Sorry I couldn't do anything about it for you.
[n/a] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.57 > Tintagiles | 25-Feb-03/1:30 PM | Reply
these things happen. My new neighbours are fans of new country music and have lots of screaming fights. Looks like a job for the ol' +5 shocking frost burst dire flail. that or the sigil of death spell. either way.
[0] sk8boardandpoems @ 24.167.109.182 | 25-Feb-03/3:53 PM | Reply
2 more to go
[n/a] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.128 > sk8boardandpoems | 26-Feb-03/7:16 AM | Reply
I send my imp familiar to deliver a 'harm' spell.
[6] Tintagiles @ 198.164.219.179 > razorgrin | 26-Feb-03/7:37 AM | Reply
Ooh! Can I help?
[n/a] razorgrin @ 192.197.141.39 > Tintagiles | 26-Feb-03/9:35 AM | Reply
Depends. You can still cast Fireball, right?
[6] Tintagiles @ 198.164.219.86 > razorgrin | 27-Feb-03/8:00 AM | Reply
Probably, yes. If not, I'll just bludgeon.
[n/a] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.43 > Tintagiles | 27-Feb-03/11:09 AM | Reply
Either way.
235 view(s)




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