poemranker ::Sleepy Geek by razorgrin

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Free verse № 3086

Sleepy Geek

by razorgrin

Member since 2002 · Posted 22 Jun 2002 · 16 comments

It's so hot my soul is sweating and I cry out "Lord I'm gonna slay my stupid neighbours with my +2 short sword of drunk-smiting. I cast "Silence" on their porch to quell their noise,but the stereo has spell resistance +20. It annoys me that I have to do this on a Friday night. I told them I work tomorrow, why do they put me through this shit? So I'll wake up early and go to work, this stuff always happens to me I'ts no fun being the only high-level mage in the service industry.

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16 comments

[7] deleted user 24-Jun-02/1:45 AM Reply
Not a "normal" poem, but funny and well-crafted nonetheless.
[9] horus8 15-Jul-02/5:50 PM Reply
I've just come into your town with two displacer beasts and a griffon. I have an imp on my shoulder for a familiar plus i'm half type three demon. you also notice that i posess
The hand and eye of Vecna, and The sword of Kas. What do you do. I'll role. l
[n/a] razorgrin 16-Jul-02/7:31 AM Reply
I cast "power word:kill". If that doesn't work, I disbelieve.
[9] Shin-Bojangles 11-Aug-02/2:20 AM Reply
Just a couple of little things.
Firstly, unless it's some sorta wacky unique thing, it should be "drunk bane" not smiting. Also, Spell Resistance isn't measureed in bonuses, so just 20 would be fine. Finally, though it is an acceptable synonym, with your use of out-of-game terms in the sentence, it might be more prudent to say "high-level wizardess (or sorcereress)" instead of mage, since the mage classification dosn't really exist tangibly in 3rd Edition.
Sorry! :)
[n/a] razorgrin 12-Aug-02/12:17 PM Reply
"Mage" scans better, muffin-butt. As for the sword, you know it's a wacky unique item forged in my old basement by the spider people as part of that unholy bargain.
[8] <~> 12-Aug-02/12:27 PM Reply
it's no fun being in the service industry, period. perhaps an other unholy bargain could be struck? --liked it lots.
[9] Shin-Bojangles 13-Aug-02/12:23 AM Reply
An unholy bargain to forge the Nametag of Invisibility? Seems like it could be usefull.
[8] Christof 22-Aug-02/4:06 AM Reply
This is very funny. I know exactly how you feel. We obviously have the same neighbours.
[6] Tintagiles 25-Feb-03/10:02 AM Reply
Hee hee... I remember that evening. Sorry I couldn't do anything about it for you.
[n/a] razorgrin › Tintagiles 25-Feb-03/1:30 PM Reply
these things happen. My new neighbours are fans of new country music and have lots of screaming fights. Looks like a job for the ol' +5 shocking frost burst dire flail. that or the sigil of death spell. either way.
[0] sk8boardandpoems 25-Feb-03/3:53 PM Reply
2 more to go
[n/a] razorgrin › sk8boardandpoems 26-Feb-03/7:16 AM Reply
I send my imp familiar to deliver a 'harm' spell.
[6] Tintagiles › razorgrin 26-Feb-03/7:37 AM Reply
Ooh! Can I help?
[n/a] razorgrin › Tintagiles 26-Feb-03/9:35 AM Reply
Depends. You can still cast Fireball, right?
[6] Tintagiles › razorgrin 27-Feb-03/8:00 AM Reply
Probably, yes. If not, I'll just bludgeon.
[n/a] razorgrin › Tintagiles 27-Feb-03/11:09 AM Reply
Either way.