| Re: Blood And Iron by intheailse |
3-Apr-03/8:16 AM |
ita--this has a lot of potential. your last stanza is awkward; you've forced it to fit. check your punctuation, as well. nice job.
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| Re: Adios Poemranker. by scitz |
3-Apr-03/10:49 AM |
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| Re: I shot speed by horus8 |
3-Apr-03/2:14 PM |
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fine. how's ham on rye? and you can get your own goddamn coffee.
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| Re: The Strength Of Thomas by OneFingerAnswer |
3-Apr-03/2:19 PM |
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eyes see, but that does not make it real. eyes can be fooled, and easily too. still, i like this.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Apr-03/2:27 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
4-Apr-03/1:48 PM |
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you should have bought the sony
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
4-Apr-03/1:54 PM |
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this is almost there. the last 5 lines are still a bit awkward, but this is crisper and cleaner, and more touchable than ever before.
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| Re: All hail Discordia?(a true haiku story) by razorgrin |
4-Apr-03/1:55 PM |
athena! athena! let down thy buns!
hahahah! nice.
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| Re: Prayer for Peace by razorgrin |
4-Apr-03/1:56 PM |
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| Re: Last Nightâs Dream (Freud-o-riffic) by razorgrin |
4-Apr-03/2:09 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
4-Apr-03/2:25 PM |
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well. fuuny, and yet not so. sure. go ahead. but talk to h about crotching some yogurt.
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| Re: "Life can sure be a motherfucker." by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
4-Apr-03/8:46 PM |
appropriate, dead center, and beautiful.
i inaugurate the Voracious Ouroboros Awarde, granting it to you, for you willingness to augur with your own intestines. (even the fucking title eats itself)
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| Re: Voodoo on channel 13 by Bachus |
6-Apr-03/9:13 PM |
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take . . . the pin . . . OUT!!!!
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| Re: Black Magic by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
6-Apr-03/9:15 PM |
i get it. dissonance. :}
but the rhyme feels forced, so that one line can't be the whole point of the poem, right? i mean, it's a poem, not an illustration. or have you been a naughty boy with settle? did he rub off on you?
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| Re: the photobooth by Bill Z Bub |
6-Apr-03/9:20 PM |
but, london to toronto by train???
not perfect, if wasting.
otherwise, damn this is good.
here i'll vote. and i'll do it again, once you assuage me.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Apr-03/9:35 PM |
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what do recommend for a nicew ruby red grapefruit?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Apr-03/9:40 PM |
he'll blow it quickly. and you'll still have holes in your boots. but then you can tell your grandkids about how you walked 8 miles uphill in a blizzard, with holes in your boots,...provided the rich kid doesn't steal your girlfriend, eh?
sometimes, it just sucks hard.
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| Re: and i don't even care by nolan |
8-Apr-03/8:03 AM |
and never write another cliche?
sorry, that was harsh. i do like this piece, but it stands on the other side of over-used metaphor right now. you need to channel this, and make it more personal. reinvent the wheel. make the black bird green.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
8-Apr-03/8:21 AM |
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naughty boy. you've dreamt of it for months now. i hope it wasn't too warm.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
8-Apr-03/8:21 AM |
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