and i don't even care

Member since 2003 · Posted 7 Apr 2003 · 4 comments

another mad man comes breaking through from so far under it was gone away from your connectable forces you need relief and comfort but i need passion and awe once again my heart takes the fall being alone isn't that bad when it is all you have ever had and i don't even care i can't lie to you it just hurts to know the wonderful thing has blown in the wind not ever finding a home we will never know the breeze never taste the rain we'll never hear the sun never touch the wind i will never witness those eyes be ignorant to all i desire as you are killing my fire

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mean 2.67 weighted 4.72 rank 11865 views 135 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

4 comments

[5] Blindproject217 7-Apr-03/10:27 PM Reply

Try last line like this, "As you are killing me, slowly killing my fire." it has a nicer ring to it. -5-

[n/a] horus8 7-Apr-03/11:22 PM Reply

Now that's breaking some fucking wind. lol! asl???

[n/a] nolan › horus8 13-Apr-03/9:34 PM Reply

male 17 canada

[n/a] <~> 8-Apr-03/8:03 AM Reply

and never write another cliche?

sorry, that was harsh. i do like this piece, but it stands on the other side of over-used metaphor right now. you need to channel this, and make it more personal. reinvent the wheel. make the black bird green.