| Re: The Sun and the Moon by Princess_Snowflake |
11-Jan-04/4:23 PM |
|
snowflake -- what the hell are you talking about?
|
|
|
 |
| Re: The critic by juxtaposition |
12-Jan-04/1:17 AM |
|
lol, you've been reading Mr. B.
|
|
|
|
| Re: New commandments by little_big_nose |
12-Jan-04/1:23 AM |
Little_Big_Nose & The Argument From Evil
------
There once was a little big nose
Who ever the question did pose
If there's a god,
Why'd he give me a rod
That's only as big as my toes?
|
|
|
|
| Re: New commandments by little_big_nose |
12-Jan-04/2:06 AM |
There once was a black-clothed paintballer
Who at christians would constantly holler
He'd be far less wroth,
(& maybe more preppy than goth)
If only his dick would stand taller
|
|
|
|
| Re: Dry Beast Night by fevriere |
14-Jan-04/7:02 AM |
Oh, well done! So that's what a sestina is. I'll have to have a go at one. Has it rhythmical requirements, or does it require only the reuse of the end words?
strick should be stricken. I don't know what mistiful should be -- misted? mistful?
|
|
|
|
| Re: The Grandfather Suite by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
24-Jan-04/7:19 AM |
Thank God, Grandma kept Grandpa well-trained
And all of his bad habits constrained
But it took her some time
To get him in line
And he'd long since all carpets bestained.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
24-Jan-04/2:17 PM |
|
What? somebody dropped an expensive vase? Melinda's 2 month-old baby puked on the bible during christening? The split second in time while the gangbangers bullet is penetrating your brain? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???????????
|
|
|
|
| Re: Lonely Tears by broken_wing11 |
24-Jan-04/2:29 PM |
|
omigod this is the best pome I've read on this site since I came here. I spewed bavarian beer and veggie weiners all over my keyboard. Omigod, my gut hurts. I can't breathe. Whew.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The Feild In Which I Live by Fear of Garbage |
27-Jan-04/4:13 PM |
Was the spelling of field really intentional? I agree with god'swife, the last line -- content of which is superb, no complaints there -- should be tidied up. If not by deleting the extra then, at least break it differently.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The Astronaut in Trouble by Fear of Garbage |
27-Jan-04/4:15 PM |
"You are taking up my Oxygen, Nitrogen,
Argon, you are taking up my arrogance." is great.
The rest is (for you) mediocre.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Murderers in the Tropics by Fear of Garbage |
27-Jan-04/4:58 PM |
|
you delightful little gothic child you.
|
|
|
|
| Re: My Life As a Single Teenage Girl by Princess_Snowflake |
27-Jan-04/5:18 PM |
|
Once again, you crack me up. If only you were doing it on purpose.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
1-Feb-04/10:38 AM |
Very nice. I love S.2.
I agree with zodiac about balloon/balloons and title. Old Willow? maybe?
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
1-Feb-04/10:50 AM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
1-Feb-04/10:58 AM |
|
dude, stop spitting all over the place. The garden is evil to you because you are unconsciously aware that you are one of the most privileged 0.001% of people who've ever lived -- most diseases conquered, incredible technology cheaply available beyond anything your greatgrandfathers could ever have imagined, never have to worry about going hungry, potential average lifespan double what it was a century ago, or what it is in most of the world -- and yet you KNOW you are doing and will do absolutely nothing worthwhile with all that privelege and opportunity, that you are as useless and meaningless a piece of shit as some retarded stable hand whose job it was to shovel manure from a stable in some long forgotten town in eastern europe in the 14th century.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
1-Feb-04/12:41 PM |
lol. Immaculately cute.
You did very well with the rhythm, and the topic is without question original. My only nitpick, purely for the sake of scansion & form, would be to not bother with "the" before ground and keep cats & ground on one line in the penultimate stanza.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
1-Feb-04/1:08 PM |
|
astounding in it's perfection. An IQ of 98, you say? By god you use every point to great effect.
|
|
|
|
| Re: f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_ |
19-Apr-05/3:48 PM |
I'm going to give you an 8 for this. Not because it's actually worth an 8, mind you, but just because the fact that you obviously must have put actual time and effort into coming up with 5 5-syllable rhymes & a 4-syllable rhyme against inferiority/superiority is (I hope) an encouraging sign of some sort of pending revivification. Though with our luck, it's more likely a sign of pending revitrification.
speaking of "xxxxx-ation": rhyming against -ation 8 times in a row is DEFINITELY NOT to be encouraged. Please don't do that again. Even if the last one is a clever use of an obscure word. And please: get rid of "fascicles". It's a word that just ought not to exist. Even though you've used it correctly (in an awkward, contrived sort of way) the fact that no one ever in the history of poetry would ever consider using it that way makes it just seem wrong, and makes YOU seem just wrong.
|
|
|
|
| Re: ab*defg by Goad |
19-Apr-05/5:10 PM |
|
This needs an edit: first line diminishes the last.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Ungrateful by Damien_ |
23-May-05/7:09 PM |
|
you're such an ugly-souled little cousinfucker.
|
|
|
|
