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Murderers in the Tropics (Free verse) by Fear of Garbage
Murderers in the tropics. They are hardly an abnormality these days. Here are the walls, painted blue until they bleed, And everybody dances until they sweat Down the middle of their chests and legs. Put a hand on my neck, arm, face. Make me feel that I am sleepy, safe and warm. The streets are covered with wine and rats, Packed, boxed, crated, precious. The heavy sky comes down and puts our noses To the floor, We wriggle and writhe With wild heartache, Painted as we are, All that make us mute when men take their hand, And put it round a hilt. Blue as murder, I am dropped from the building window. His love's pressed up on the brick. Blue cord, blue mouth Chair in hand, a finger up my back. It is not safe to linger here, For sex, for love, For a hot bright drink spilled on my legs. I am swallowing salt. I am swallowing sand. There, look, there. There is hair on the floor, Dark and attached to a body. She is alive and she is sitting around the moon, Hot and sweaty and lidless. I hold that soft waiste in my hand. Comforting. Everywhere around us soft shadows press the sky, Eat the moon, pass the corners of the alleys. Laugh, fall from buildings, Live for blood and life. I sweat and dance. I hold the knife.

Up the ladder: Desperate Season
Down the ladder: Tuna and sweetcorn

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.8
Weighted score: 5.3337684
Overall Rank: 3462
Posted: September 20, 2003 8:21 PM PDT; Last modified: September 20, 2003 8:21 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 20-Sep-03/8:25 PM | Reply
"safe and warm" swap those two to "warm and safe". Other wise i thought this poem was a 10 and should get a GQT for sure. Strong symbolism, fantastic story and realtime essence, really, really a lovely piece.

[10] deleted user @ 64.63.203.108 | 20-Sep-03/8:41 PM | Reply
If I had a desire to emulate someone's poetry it would be yours.

allow me to piss on your leg.
[10] deleted user @ 64.63.203.108 | 20-Sep-03/8:56 PM | Reply
I followed your name from my poem to your page because I was pissed off at you for comparing me to horus. I was going to say some choice stuff about your bad poetry. Just my luck I get this one first... damn it all. it's just a good poem. I'll rate it now. (10)..


If you revise it..I'll rate it again then.
[10] Bill Z Bub @ 24.43.48.67 | 21-Sep-03/5:56 AM | Reply
Sizzlechest
[10] middenHeap @ 217.82.10.207 | 27-Jan-04/4:58 PM | Reply
you delightful little gothic child you.
[9] zodiac @ 152.18.33.190 | 27-Jan-04/5:01 PM | Reply
Mon dieu! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


"sleepy, safe and warm" could be different.
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