replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 9:31 PM
thanks
on Curiously here by philthegreek
3 Sep 2003, 12:12 PM
i enjoyed "old and grey/ came the day"
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 11:42 AM
Is the fault you see the double use of 'in'?
Well tehcnically it is a double use, but
that's the nice thing about the old school use of "i'",
I feel like it negates that - allowing me a subtle break in the 'rules'. You don't agree?
Thank you immensely for the help and suggestios, but I think I'll concentrate on other poems. I think this one is doomed to a singular success (my own mind).
Well tehcnically it is a double use, but
that's the nice thing about the old school use of "i'",
I feel like it negates that - allowing me a subtle break in the 'rules'. You don't agree?
Thank you immensely for the help and suggestios, but I think I'll concentrate on other poems. I think this one is doomed to a singular success (my own mind).
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 10:56 AM
Fair enough, thanks z
I guess I'll chuck this to the shitter then. Too bad I really liked it. But I guess that happens from time to time.
The point I was trying to make is merely a question about the value of pursuing romance as an artform.
'for the pen dragged too deep i' the page in passion destroys all beauty and substance within'.
I guess I'll chuck this to the shitter then. Too bad I really liked it. But I guess that happens from time to time.
The point I was trying to make is merely a question about the value of pursuing romance as an artform.
'for the pen dragged too deep i' the page in passion destroys all beauty and substance within'.
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 10:51 AM
Mob mentality in appreciating poetry? I think you take me too personally. I never meant any offense to anyone, supreme.
I'll just leave all this at that, and from now own I'll just leave an explanation of my poems in the comments, and you can give suggestions to help me out or not.
Have fun.
I'll just leave all this at that, and from now own I'll just leave an explanation of my poems in the comments, and you can give suggestions to help me out or not.
Have fun.
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 10:02 AM
And by the way I appreciate greatly your effort. Thank you for humouring me.
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 10:00 AM
ah this is honest confusion...
DQ is in the book, Cervantes has just written a scene wherein DQ kills a bunch of people. Cervantes is so shocked at the incident that his held is held upright by his non-writing hand, because he no longer trusts his writing hand.
the rest I won't discuss.
DQ is in the book, Cervantes has just written a scene wherein DQ kills a bunch of people. Cervantes is so shocked at the incident that his held is held upright by his non-writing hand, because he no longer trusts his writing hand.
the rest I won't discuss.
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 9:56 AM
I never said the message was clear. I admit it is difficult to get at. I DEMAND ELBOW GREASE! :)
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 9:55 AM
fair enough
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
3 Sep 2003, 9:28 AM
neither does an entire bucket over time,
nor a brackish pond if they cannot purify it
nor a brackish pond if they cannot purify it
on The empty room by INTRANSIT
3 Sep 2003, 12:24 AM
Doesn't sound like something Jesus would do. Must have been a bad day. Even the greatest philanthropists have their moments of self-doubt.
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
2 Sep 2003, 10:04 PM
- The forked tongue is from licking his blade
- "for the other [hand]... its dignity and honor as false..."
- The act the hand commits is betrayal.
- Also, read "The Depreciated Legacy of Cervantes".
As for the false face of romance, that is meant to be cleared up in stanza 3. The heart of my poem is stanza three and I absolutely think it is one of the best lines I've ever written
(predicts the 'which is not saying much' comment)
This is one of those things where if you see where I'm coming from the entire poem is clear and subtle. Please please please if you could humour me I honestly believe that this poem is worthwhile (if somewhat viscous). Please give it some time.
- "for the other [hand]... its dignity and honor as false..."
- The act the hand commits is betrayal.
- Also, read "The Depreciated Legacy of Cervantes".
As for the false face of romance, that is meant to be cleared up in stanza 3. The heart of my poem is stanza three and I absolutely think it is one of the best lines I've ever written
(predicts the 'which is not saying much' comment)
This is one of those things where if you see where I'm coming from the entire poem is clear and subtle. Please please please if you could humour me I honestly believe that this poem is worthwhile (if somewhat viscous). Please give it some time.
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
2 Sep 2003, 9:46 PM
the outside knowledge necessary here:
- Miguel Cervantes wrote 'Don Quixote'
- Don Quixote is the embodiment of romance
- Miguel Cervantes wrote 'Don Quixote'
- Don Quixote is the embodiment of romance
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
2 Sep 2003, 9:32 PM
I changed 'his' to 'its' in S2 ('its dignity' is more correct than 'his dignity). Also I felt like this poem is worth so much more than people have realized and I was hoping that at least one person would catch it.
replying on The Banishment of Don Quixote by abecedarian
2 Sep 2003, 9:30 PM
Fair enough, but your comment implies that you see no value in it. Do you understand what I'm saying?
on When He's In Me by J.B. Manning
2 Sep 2003, 4:02 PM
sweat so sweet that sour seems discreet... yum
(a 7 for finding your way into my closet)
'I love being queer' leaks momentum, however. We can tell you like it without you telling us.
For some reason I'm not fond of the invitation/interpretation bit as well.
(a 7 for finding your way into my closet)
'I love being queer' leaks momentum, however. We can tell you like it without you telling us.
For some reason I'm not fond of the invitation/interpretation bit as well.
replying on Peach (Revision) by http://mulberryfairy
2 Sep 2003, 11:51 AM
If she had been given a large bag of peaches (enough to share) I wonder would she have hid them all away or if she would share.
replying on Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof
2 Sep 2003, 1:50 AM
The score more truthfully lies elsewhere -
I am embarassed to be ranked above this poem
I am embarassed to be ranked above this poem
on Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof
2 Sep 2003, 1:47 AM
(wonderful)