Re: trying to cross the border to Sweetgrass by Patsy	21-Aug-03/10:02 AM
Good, quite political I think, but does not descend into a rant because the language is fresh and original.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Aug-03/3:38 AM
"you need a girlfriend" is what you said, "cuz you can't be close to anybody else" Is the best part of this, and also the least pimple like
Re: On The Floor of the Hospital by Fear of Garbage	24-Aug-03/3:43 AM
imagery is bordering on disturbing. 'On the floor' is a nice touch. Are they actually on the floor uncared for, or a hospital floor. Not sure I grasp the plant metaphor though. Maybe it is about a plant? with a brain?
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Aug-03/3:47 AM
greek mythology is certainly rich material. Think this is trying to be a description. Enjoyable, not many rhymes hephaestus with discus.
Re: summer heat blues by peaceseeker	24-Aug-03/4:40 AM
hermaphrodite pickle? anyway enjoyed this 'night out'
Re: Lizzie Boredom by Bonehiss	24-Aug-03/4:45 AM
is this all first draft or just the letting one go part? liked the ridiculing of the girl admiring a crap piece of art should be devilled egg. Otherwise it would read de-viled which it certainly was not
Re: Lizzie Boredom by Bonehiss	24-Aug-03/4:45 AM
is this all first draft or just the letting one go part? liked the ridiculing of the girl admiring a crap piece of art should be devilled egg. Otherwise it would read de-viled which it certainly was not
Re: What you know by INTRANSIT	24-Aug-03/4:47 AM
certainly intriguing, needs a bit of resolution though. Still plenty to get your teeth into
Re: Trollop: A Married Mans Revenge by DreamerSupreme	24-Aug-03/4:52 AM
penultimate verse: you were so beautiful.... is when this really gets going. Certainly memorable.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Aug-03/8:34 AM
not so much in the way of originality but I really like the flow.
Re: Piano Guitar Passion by Don-Quixote	25-Aug-03/3:37 AM
ember twice is a mistake. And does the moon really glow like an ember? Seems to be a lot going on here, searching the grass/ the revenge/ the piano. Lots of nice phrases, not sure how it all fits together though
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Aug-03/2:35 PM
intelligent atheism is open to ridicule like religion
Re: no name by ~ska~	26-Aug-03/4:16 AM
too prosaic really, nothing new. I quite like the rhyme of the first three lines, flows well.
Re: My Show at the Whiskey a Go Go on the 26th of August 2003 by Jeremi B. Handrinos	26-Aug-03/4:29 AM
an advert disguised as a poem. Bit like swedens eurovision entry which claimed to be a song, when it was an instrumental with some guy talking at the beginning. anyway this 'poem' is sweet as pie and dark. I like it. When you are famous will your name be j handrinos?
Re: I'm Back! by wEdible Underpantsw	26-Aug-03/4:34 AM
great, another I'm back/ I'm not like you / even though I write poems/ proud to be a redneckl/ I'm not gay/ look I hate gays/ your gay/ aren't I very post modern/ and ironic/ bla bla bla
Re: Laundry Day by impert&ent	26-Aug-03/4:38 AM
unconventional way to use analogy in the first line. Sets a frivolous tone. you repeat sheets in the final verse which is unneeded. The jump to second verse is less than seemless. other than that ace -8-
Re: I'm Back! by wEdible Underpantsw	26-Aug-03/4:39 AM
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=62199
Re: Unloving Stranger by sweetiewanie	26-Aug-03/9:10 AM
probably should not include thee in a poem just to rhyme. There is an awful lot to sort through here, and it feels like you could shorten it and strengthen its essence. the surprise at the end is made good by the reference to heir earlier on (I had presumed it was some rich bloke) and then it clicked.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Aug-03/2:18 PM
not sure about the abruptness of surreal image of the penguin, but yes good
Re: Easter Egg Soup by kthay	28-Aug-03/1:37 PM
good that you use only the occasional rhyme (hens and friends) better than leading this story with rhyme. Kind of fun I think, a childrens poem A well related story